The App Store or: No one invited Siri to the party anyway

As an "Apple Developer" (not a self-identification, just what they call me on their website), I've been able to download Mac OSX Sierra for a bit. Did I do that right? Damn, it's macOS. Like iOS. I get it. Anyway, it's been downloading on my work computer for 2 days now. Not because of lack of bandwidth, but because the App Store is broken, and is bullshit.

In fact, the last three major releases of ImacOSX10Mountain have been painstaking to download. Sometimes I click download, or GET or whatever it's called now, a wheel starts to spin... And then it just keeps spinning.

I don't need the latest. I just need "a" right now. As in "a" working operating system. My Mac completely crashed (stripes on boot and everything) the other night, and I need my computer working. I don't just have a spare copy of OSX 10.11 (redundant?) lying around, so I go to iTunes Mac Storefront to download a copy. It says its "waiting".. for hours...four hours. then never.

Again, this doesn't seem like a big deal until it gets more serious. I fire up XCode to test an app for work... I need to update to be able to install on iOS 10? iosX? OSiPhone7 - an install that went smoothly... except for the 5 applications it left in "we removed these applications to make space, then tried to install them again, then got confused, then lifted our hands up to our ears and said wait why are you blaming ME?" eternal software limbo. And wait, shouldn't that be macOSCode?... the download - it sits. It spins. Not in that good way.

You asked me to log in to your stupid fucking store 10 times. Can't you remember that I want to download stuff? I mean wait around like some douchebag hipster barista and stare at the sink for a few more minutes if you want to. I'm not going to get mad. But eventually make my fucking coffee you lazy piece of shit. Some of us have work to do, and daddy needs his juice.

I'm feeling really negative now. I need to stop.