I just want a phone that works. All of those words are confusing.
Seriously though I showed up at Apple with a credit card and a SIM card 48 hours ago and they were not able to sell me a phone. To make it even weirder, I had the (unopened) phone I wanted in a bag, but it is a "locked" one from TMobile. I thought that was ancient history.
One day Apple will want my money!