I kind of feel like we're speaking past each other here. I'm not sure what sort of dysfunctional cat/owner relationships you've observed to make you so vehemently opposed to the idea that they can be mutually beneficial.
I assure you, my cats actively enjoy and seek out my company, attention, and affection, and I likewise enjoy and seek out theirs.
When I get home, my cats run to greet me, with the straight upraised tail (with slightly curled tip) that indicates "friendly excitement." They sniff me and rub themselves against me with the full length of their bodies, which is a common greeting ritual for cats that belong to the same colony. They come and sit next to me on the couch, and when they want privacy, they will go and sleep somewhere else.
If they seek out my attention, and I don't have time or the desire then to give it them, a few firm setting them on the ground or shifting them out of the way, and they'll settle and not bother me (unless something is genuinely wrong and I haven't noticed, like the water dish being empty/dirty).
When I seek out their attention, if they don't feel like giving it right then, they indicate so through body language or even just leaving, and I respect their desires and don't force myself on them (unless it's in the case of something for their health, like giving them medication or taking them to the vet).
They can't speak English, though they understand a handful of words, such as their names, "treat", "dinner", "come here", "no", "gentle", and "please" as well as tone of voice. I can't speak Cat, but I understand a handful of words via body language and tone of voice when they meow.
I don't ever get angry at my cats for being cats, though occasionally I do get frustrated. And in return, though they sometimes get frustrated when I am failing to understand one of their requests, they don't get angry and lash out either.
I think we communicate fairly well for beings of two completely different species, and find each other's company mutually agreeable.
