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0 pointsroceasta8y ago0 comments

Don't want to question the value of your experience but I couldn't help noticing that your example and enraged_camel's examples all take place in the context of (mild) danger and risk. Employer-employee; employee-client; travel abroad.

Could it be that shared adversity is the key to bonding? Personal revealings would then follow gradually as a natural consequence. In this view the best way to make friends would be to go to high-school together, get stuck in an airport for 2 days, watch a horror movie, share a rock-climbing accident, etc. Mostly circumstances one doesn't have much control over, admittedly!

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manyxcxi8y ago

I think there's something to that. Most of my adult friendships with people that started in a professional setting were with people who I worked with on very stressful projects.

Lots of hours together, working very closely, gallows humor, and revealing personal details. There are about five or six people from a particularly stressful project that I talk to on no less than monthly basis, very personally catching up, and we're across 4 states and 5 cities.

morgante8y ago

There is definitely evidence for shared adversity being helpful for bonding, but I think it's a stretch to somehow say employment is adversity.

By that logic, pretty much every interaction we have is through shared adversity.

(It's true that I've had some amount of shared adversity with all my close friends though.)

accountyaccount8y ago

The state of being can be considered shared adversity.

supercoder8y ago

Yeah some of my best friends are the ones who I've focred to go with me to an airport for 2 days. Not sure if they can say the same though

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