undefined | Better HN

0 pointslev998y ago0 comments

In my mind child abuse is hurting a child for selfish reasons and discipline is punishment to cause behavioral changes. Some cultures allow for different severity of punishments. However the intent of the parent is very important when labeling child abuse.

0 comments

dragonwriter8y ago

Intent is important, but if there is intent to inflict pain, either as a means or an ends, it is abuse.

Now, it's true that there are further meaningful intent-based distinctions you can make within the broad category of abuse, but that's somewhat beside the point.

zeveb8y ago

> if there is intent to inflict pain, either as a means or an ends, it is abuse.

That doesn't sound correct to me. If a little get (well below the age of reason) reaches for the pretty red glowing burner atop the stove, you slap away his hand because the small pain of getting his hand slapped will serve to make a second attempt less likely, and the small pain is far less severe and more transient than the great and lasting pain of a nasty burn.

Enjoying inflicting pain is definitely abuse, but inflicting it to prevent worse pain and suffering is IMHO not.

DrScump8y ago

There was a genuine tragedy[0] just over a month ago in NYC from such an unchecked child who "had a history of playing with the burners and turning them on." The family of the firestarter all escaped but placed others at heightened risk of death by leaving their doors open as they fled.

[0] https://www.mercurynews.com/2017/12/29/new-york-city-mayor-1...

dragonwriter8y ago

> . If a little get (well below the age of reason) reaches for the pretty red glowing burner atop the stove, you slap away his hand because the small pain of getting his hand slapped will serve to make a second attempt less likely

No, you don't; if they are well below the age of reason, they are well below the age at which they will connect the hit with the reason for it.

That's why you don't let kids that young around a stove in the first place, and if they do get loose around one, you restrain and remove them. This may involve incidental pain, but not intentional, instrumental pain.

1 more reply

brazzledazzle8y ago

While there are certainly abusers out there that relish it, (likely in most of the worst cases) I think you'll find that many who commit undeniable abuse don't do it for any sort of joy. They would describe their motivations as being good or an unfortunate necessity–sometimes even altruistic. Abuse is a complicated thing and many who mete it out were, or are, themselves victims of abuse.

Not trying to detract from your overall point, just thought it was worth noting.

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse

0 comments

dragonwriter8y ago

Intent is important, but if there is intent to inflict pain, either as a means or an ends, it is abuse.

Now, it's true that there are further meaningful intent-based distinctions you can make within the broad category of abuse, but that's somewhat beside the point.

zeveb8y ago

> if there is intent to inflict pain, either as a means or an ends, it is abuse.

Enjoying inflicting pain is definitely abuse, but inflicting it to prevent worse pain and suffering is IMHO not.

DrScump8y ago

[0] https://www.mercurynews.com/2017/12/29/new-york-city-mayor-1...

dragonwriter8y ago

No, you don't; if they are well below the age of reason, they are well below the age at which they will connect the hit with the reason for it.

1 more reply

brazzledazzle8y ago

Not trying to detract from your overall point, just thought it was worth noting.

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse