Who pissed in your coffee today? Perhaps it's my bias living in NYC, but the average denizen here (myself included) finds someone asking proper, honest questions to be the absolute bare minimum to taking that person seriously, not to mention the absolute bare minimum to a whole host of basic human interactions and endeavors: working together, dating, making and sustaining friendships, making art, building a company.

Frankly, I find the almost passive aggressive lack of asking proper questions to be a little condescending and mean in and of itself. One of my favorite movies has several themes, but that's one of them. It's name, very interestingly enough, is Mean Girls.

Actually, whether <asking proper questions> is "mean" or good depends on the competence of the person of whom the questions are asked.

For a competent person, a few proper questions present an opportunity to better explain their proposition, thesis, or thinking, and an opening to a potentially great conversation.

For an incompetent answerer, a few proper questions merely reveal the shallowness of their thesis and thinking. if they're smart, it'll be an indication that they should go back to the drawing board. If not, it'll just be an embarrassment, but informative to the questioner (as in, this person's ideas aren't worth more time).

If your only goal is maintaining superficial social connections, then proper questions should be left out (and there are times where this is indeed the goal and so appropriate). If the goals are more broad, then ask away...