I work at one of the monorepo companies that you mention and there’s some truth to the “too slow” part. Although it’s it’s been a lot better lately (largely, due to the efforts of the internal version control dev teams), I’ve noticed at times in the past that you could do a ‘<insert vcs> pull’, go on a 15 minute break and it wouldn’t be done by the time you’re back.
Personally, I think there’s a place for mono repos and there’s a place for smaller independent repos. If a project is independent and decoupled from the rest of the tightly coupled code base (for instance things which get opesourced), it makes no sense to shove it into a huge monorepo.