Even if I'm completely wrong and email should be left asynchronous, SMTP could at least have introduced some standard around chat negotiation and a protocol negotiation process for remote chat servers/agents.
Wouldn't this be best handled with SRV DNS records or some other service discovery process outside of SMTP?
I don't have a preference on exactly how the service discovery would work -- I'm merely suggesting instant messaging could/should have been an extension of the SMTP spec like websockets were an extension of HTTP.
[EDIT] - Looking over the link you sent, that is exactly what would have made a good addition in my mind -- if SMTP had some sort of functionality to suggest that XMPP was available and where to check (DNS SRV records)