Ask HN: Advice for avoiding being a bad participant in meetings

6 pointsgary__6y ago8 comments

What negative patterns do you come across in meetings that lead to non productive outcomes and what advice would you give those participants responsible?

What mistakes did you make yourself in meetings that you have corrected as you progressed in your career?

8 comments

p0d6y ago

My experience of meetings and their players.

The Sheriff; my way or the highway.

The Bluffer; Yip, that’s been done.

The Hard Worker; Always segways to their latest piece of work.

The Brain; Says little, has manufactured outcome of meeting before the meeting started.

The Joker; Makes everyone laugh, is heard the least.

I’m personally trying to be a little bit less the joker and the hard worker.

dvtrn6y ago

The Toll Collector; powerful, knows where things are, knows who to ping or where to look, but never offers help voluntarily--only offers it, barter style--for taking something off of their plate.

Also goes by "Brent"

durzagott6y ago

The Aggressor: criticises and deflates others; disagrees with others aggressively

The Blocker: stubbornly disagrees; rejects others' views; describes unrelated personal experiences

The Withdrawer: won't participate; talks to neighbour; self-appointed note taker; switches off

The Recognition Seeker: boasts; excessive talking; conscious of their status

The Topic Jumper: continually changes the subject

The Dominator: tries to take over; asserts authority; manipulates the group

The Special Interest Pleader: uses group's time to plead their own case

The Playboy: wastes group's time showing off; story-teller; nonchalant; cynical

The Self-Confessor: continually makes comments about own feelings and insights

We Only Come in Twos: a pair that turn up together and only talk to each other

The Bomb: discloses personal information distracting group from tasks

The Can't-be-Bothered: disinterested; messes about; test's the facilitator with disruptive behaviour

Spooky236y ago

The Senator; measures personal self worth using minutes of talk time.

The Inquisitor; dives into the minutiae of any topic.

p0d6y ago

The Grumpy Secretary; the person made to take notes who isn't senior enough to say no.

dvtrn6y ago

Planning meetings because $thing has to be discussed, but failing to organize the meeting, set an agenda or scheduling meetings without any planned outcomes and takeaways.

The latter half of this isn't always possible, but lately in my career I've made it a point to never call a meeting that doesn't bring up at least 2-3 things that will be/need to be acted upon or looked into by someone (even if I'm that person) based on what gets discussed.

epkatz6y ago

I try and ask myself these questions every time I attend a meeting: - Why am I here? - How could I avoid being here next time?

If you aren't providing value or the meeting is not providing value to you then you shouldn't be there. Perhaps the meeting shouldn't even exist? If this could have been a slack message or email or perhaps part of another existing meeting then you also shouldn't be there.

gary__OP6y ago

Not so much being a bad participant, but something I've found are developers who propose a solution to a problem outside of a meeting, but when it's then thrown out to the group for suggestions they remain quiet. Hard to know what advice to give for building confidence.

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8 comments

p0d6y ago

My experience of meetings and their players.

The Sheriff; my way or the highway.

The Bluffer; Yip, that’s been done.

The Hard Worker; Always segways to their latest piece of work.

The Brain; Says little, has manufactured outcome of meeting before the meeting started.

The Joker; Makes everyone laugh, is heard the least.

I’m personally trying to be a little bit less the joker and the hard worker.

dvtrn6y ago

The Toll Collector; powerful, knows where things are, knows who to ping or where to look, but never offers help voluntarily--only offers it, barter style--for taking something off of their plate.

Also goes by "Brent"

durzagott6y ago

The Aggressor: criticises and deflates others; disagrees with others aggressively

The Blocker: stubbornly disagrees; rejects others' views; describes unrelated personal experiences

The Withdrawer: won't participate; talks to neighbour; self-appointed note taker; switches off

The Recognition Seeker: boasts; excessive talking; conscious of their status

The Topic Jumper: continually changes the subject

The Dominator: tries to take over; asserts authority; manipulates the group

The Special Interest Pleader: uses group's time to plead their own case

The Playboy: wastes group's time showing off; story-teller; nonchalant; cynical

The Self-Confessor: continually makes comments about own feelings and insights

We Only Come in Twos: a pair that turn up together and only talk to each other

The Bomb: discloses personal information distracting group from tasks

The Can't-be-Bothered: disinterested; messes about; test's the facilitator with disruptive behaviour

Spooky236y ago

The Senator; measures personal self worth using minutes of talk time.

The Inquisitor; dives into the minutiae of any topic.

p0d6y ago

The Grumpy Secretary; the person made to take notes who isn't senior enough to say no.

dvtrn6y ago

Planning meetings because $thing has to be discussed, but failing to organize the meeting, set an agenda or scheduling meetings without any planned outcomes and takeaways.

epkatz6y ago

I try and ask myself these questions every time I attend a meeting: - Why am I here? - How could I avoid being here next time?

gary__OP6y ago

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse