Has anyone ever dealt with this situation before? What is the best thing for me to do? I dont want a hostile workplace environment on my end where I have to keep looking over my shoulder either.
1. You might be in a company where nobody swears. In that case, it might be the expected norm that you too speak diplomatically and politely.
2. You might have a precious snowflake on your team. These come in two varieties:
(a) persons who simply are simply more sensitive than the majority; and
(b) persons who are under-performing and are using the excuse of "hostile workplace" as a cover-up for their substandard productivity.
Perhaps, you are the first project manager that they have hired and the staff are not accustomed to being expected to deliver on schedule, etc. In a small company, it seems strange to me that you can't have a candid conversation with your manager / boss. Not being given the individual's name for "privacy reasons" seems suspiciously like somebody is playing politics.
The manager needed constant validation, and when he didn't get it he became angry. Last time, half the team just left within a year. What I've gathered is that more often than not, they are micro managers with some kind of broken confidence (bad divorce, bad education or bad health can all take its toll on it). "If people just listened to me..." is their motto, no matter who they talk to or what subject. When other teams down-prioritised our team because they didn't want to work with him it was shit flinging time!
I'm starting to get better at sensing if people just want to win a discussion or want to learn & teach. But I wished I learnt it sooner.
The older I get the more I see this as a _critical_ soft skill to have in the corporate world. I wish I could go back to myself in earlier engineering roles and say, "just stop talking - these people don't care, they're only here for the narrative."
> (a) A person who, intentionally and without the consent of all parties to a confidential communication, uses an electronic amplifying or recording device to eavesdrop upon or record the confidential communication, whether the communication is carried on among the parties in the presence of one another or by means of a telegraph, telephone, or other device, except a radio, shall be punished...
(b) For the purposes of this section, “person” means an individual, business association, partnership, corporation, limited liability company, or other legal entity, and an individual acting or purporting to act for or on behalf of any government or subdivision thereof, whether federal, state, or local, but excludes an individual known by all parties to a confidential communication to be overhearing or recording the communication.
https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/codes_displaySectio...
An environment where cursing is a fireable offense is an environment I'd avoid, because there are limits to the demands of hypersensitive people.
Cursing aside, my worry is your hostile environment criticism might have a wider cause than a single word. Try to work on building positive relationships with as many people as possible. Smalltalk, interest in them and help in the context of the company are things to aim to build.
Assuming the Company is large enough to have an HR Department; expect them to conduct an investigation. Their primary role is to protect the company.
As a Manager-- you'll want to align yourself with HR (be politically savvy) seek their guidance and consider the needs of the broader organization first.
Understand that lots of people are watching you now. You'll need to be extra courteous and thoughtful in your words and actions.
> https://www.employersresource.com/human-resources/hr-scenari...
Talk to HR, discuss this in details.
HR would be on your side (and not on the employee side - even though he/she may be told otherwise).
So HR may propose good plan to resolve it.
For eg: "The quality of this code can be improved" vs "This fucking code has to be corrected" or
very simple statements like:
"what is this"? vs "what the fuck is this"
The tone by adding one curse word changes from inquisitive to condescending and intimidating.
So never use curse words for serious things.
However, after a certain period of time when you're familiar with the environment and people you may joke and curse while having a casual chit-chat.
As for the problem now, as this is a small company have an informal meeting and sort this out and apologize if needed(use humor if you're good at it to make all this less uncomfortable)!
What happens next really depends on your employer. If they don't think it was a problem, then you are probably good.
If your employer feels there is a problem then ask your employer what happens next (well ask either way and getting the response in email is nice).
I had a coworker complain to HR about me, but it was also a part of a campaign to file complaints against a laundry list of people and my employer did not feel the complaints were valid. They were very minor complaints that didn't even make sense on the most basic level (like misnamed me several times, identified me as someone else, identified tasks I wasn't even responsible for, and then they would say I helped them with the things they previously complained about).
I was very clear with HR about things. Followed up with an email to HR to get what I said in writing.
Then I was just very careful around that employee, emails were very clear and detailed, I did everything I could to not be alone with that person.
Eventually that employee left, tried to sue the company (for entirely new claims unrelated to me), had case thrown out and it was ok from there.
But every company is different so who knows what might happen.
If you feel things start to get confused... contact a lawyer who can give you advice. Plenty of lawyers out there who can offer advice for free or cheaper for just a bit of their time.
Keep in mind only your own lawyer is there explicitly to help you and will have your best interests in mind.
No matter what your company says HR is there to protect the company, NOT you.
But you don't care about creating a hostile workplace? At no point have you addressed what you have created.
That being said, I would note down a memory protocol afterwards in case this turns ugly after all.
Send yourself an email with your recollection of the incident and print a copy that you do not keep at work. If there is a problem later, you’ll have documentation of your contemporaneous thoughts that can be used to corroborate yourself.
It’s good practice whenever something significant happens.
But if he used a "curse word" once (OMG!) in a meeting and some primadonna filed a complaint - fuck that.
