I wanted to show how much we tend to condition ourselves. I don't have the intention to make fun here.
It's good you are asking about the how - please see once you think "I am <something>" - this is what will determine your whole behavior on many levels and this is what you will become in many ways. Try to be conscious through the day and see every decision you are making - is it in some way based on the idea of yourself? A simple pattern of a mind "I will (not) do that because I am (not) a ...".
One way to go beyond this is to see clearly - every single moment of your life you are not "somebody" defined. Instead according to the situation around you become somebody. In the office you become an office worker and behave in one way, at home you become a family member and behave another way, at a party with friends it is again another way. Sometimes you can even forget to "be someone" and just be - for example in moments of great joy or intense activity.
Just see if you can observe this through your day - you should see yourself that your personality is flexible, it is not set in stone. See if you can find where does it come from, what defines it - I promise you this discovery will be one of the most wonderful things happened to you.
This is as much as I can give you via a text message.
