The way I understand what rms said is that the victim would've acted ("presented herself") as willing to Minsky, while being coerced by Epstein. That does not imply she was actually willing in any way shape or form.

I think you're misunderstanding it too, based on your statement: "RMS doesn't seem to understand what willing means."

The way I see it, what rms did was (strategically) dumb and tactless, but not unethical at all.