>we've looked up at the cosmos for all of history, it seemed impossibly devoid of anything
This is popularly misunderstood. We obviously don't see Type 3 civilizations, but if another of our own civilization was in our galaxy, we would have had an very small to extremely small chance of seeing it.
I'd wager life is everywhere, and just as is the case on earth, it pays, in terms of survival, to blend in with your surroundings.