Student loans can pay public school tuition, and anyway $100K plus a decade of investment interest is quite generous for public school, or private school with a scholarship (aka not a diploma mill) or ivy league school with financial aid for non-1%ers. And counting both daycare and saving college tuition is double-counting on an annalized basis. A minivan costs $600/month only if you buy new and trade in for another new car after 5 years. It's under $400 if you keep if for 7-10 years. Your $2800/month is only $1000-$2000 in the real world.

I acknowledge your point. Then I wonder how much of that is that in a consumption oriented economy, there will always pop up services that will claim to provide enough marginal value to absorb all otherwise unspent cash. I acknowledge that it is especially hard to “skimp” on spending for the people one cares about — so one might feel guilty over any cash flow “not used”. It feels like a different version of hedonic adaptation, harder to make decisions in.