You're basically taking systemd's architecture as an axiomatic premise, so no surprise your conclusion is obvious. I reject the premise, and the fruits of it I go into detail in chapter 3.
For the record I am mostly a Unix-hater, so your complaints about Unix are things I agree with. systemd, however, is simply more New Jersey design with unwarranted pretensions.
systemd, in a way, is exactly the init system that a community as infantile and disordered as Linux rightfully deserves. May they enjoy it.
I'll leave things at that.