Google reallly sucks in this regard. You can also lose your account if someone hacks it and google cannot determine who it belongs to, so it belongs to no one despite not being suspended.

My point wasn't about how gmail is perfect but that things that are under your control (domain you have to pay for, needs interaction from time to time) are more fragile sometimes than if they are not (social security number isn't going away).

That's the whole beauty with your own domain. They don't have to touch your server at all, it's enough if they can social engineer their way into your account at the DNS provider and point your domain to their own email server. Your security isn't even considered in this case. The only thing that can save you there is how good the DNS security is.