Maybe if it started costing the company actual money, it might make the investments necessary to ensure it doesn't go down in the first place.

With any customer that has SLAs written into their contracts, they're not just going off your status page. They most likely have a direct point of contact and exact reporting will be done in the postmortem.

The status page is for customers for which there aren't significant legal or business complications and exists to provide transparency. In my opinion you do want "random" people at your company to be able to update it in order to provide very stressed out customers with the best information you have.

As an industry we probably should recognize this more explicitly and have more standard status pages that are like "everything might be broken but we're not sure yet"