Robert Glover - No More Mr. Nice Guy Mark Manson - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck Mark Manson - Models
For those looking into reading into masculinity (to understand yourself or other masculine people:
David Deida - The Way of the Superior Man Moore & Gillette - King, Warrior, Magician, Lover Zan Perrion- The Alabaster Girl
Disclaimer: Some of these books I recommend are not going to be based on much research and science, or delve into more abstract forms of thought and draw inspiration from other sources (e.g. Eastern). Nevertheless I believe they are useful frameworks of thought that can provide value, and it's good to engage more "mythical" ideas at times.
Personal favourites are David Deida's book which is great on understanding relationship dynamics; and Zan Perrion's book which is great in cultivating and perceiving depth in relationships.
Second would be The Language of Mathematics by Baber. As someone who did not do well with math in school or uni but was always good with languages and programming, I have benefited greatly from it by finally “getting” math.
Have heard many good things about the book - curious to get some concrete anecdata
[1] https://www.cs.virginia.edu/~robins/YouAndYourResearch.html
It had a profound impact on me. After reading that book, I stopped trying to be silent when I was feeling angry. I invested in my relationships with family and friends a lot. I realized the biggest problem in the Tech industry is not the technology but the people. I became empathetic to introverted people.
For example, why is education so focused on work rather than learning? One answer is due to credentialism, specifically for employers to know whether you can sit for 8 hours and do work for them, just as in school.
I would especially recommend it for young people. It helped me see the components of my conversations and relationships that I was taking for granted.
The premise was simple: In 1959 a white reporter used makeup to make himself have black skin. He then traveled around the southern USA. Even as a child it was easy to see how people treated him differently even though he was a white man underneath. The racism was undeniable.
Animal Farm, 1984, and Fahrenheit 451 gave me even more reasons to question authority.
Probably the biggest impact a book ever had on me.
I myself have been profoundly affected by The Bible. It has inspired many people over the centuries and remains the best selling book of all time. It provides innumerable famoous quotes. It's been credited with amazing things.
If that's not your cup of tea, try scripture of a different sort. Religion in general is said to be associated with increased generosity, well being and peace of mind. (Backed by many studies, of course.)
It's by nature a topic fraught with controversy. No matter which scripture you choose, it will be highly offensive to somebody. (But maybe if somebody else knows about it, you may not be doing it right.) You'll never know unless you try. In this day and age, religion is a source of comfort to many.
To not be off-topic, definitely don't waste your time on his books. They're pretty bad.
“ History isn't like that. History unravels gently, like an old sweater. It has been patched and darned many times, reknitted to suit different people, shoved in a box under the sink of censorship to be cut up for the dusters of propaganda, yet it always - eventually - manages to spring back into its old familar shape. History has a habit of changing the people who think they are changing it. History always has a few tricks up its frayed sleeve. It's been around a long time.”
https://pragprog.com/titles/tpp20/the-pragmatic-programmer-2...
It's been a long, long time since I had access to the book; and much of it is internalized by now; but back then it changed everything for me.
I just blasted through the audiobook version (which is excellent, btw!) of the 20th anniversary 2nd edition two weeks ago, and might be able to share another perspective on this.
As someone who hasn't been in the industry since the 90ies, I find absolutely astonishing how basic some of the stuff is, yet my own workplace environment is full of people ignoring most of these "obvious" ideas. So if you're feeling like you're re-iterating "common sense" ideas (like: implement things orthogonally if possible; write tests; try out concepts before implementing them completely…) without them seeming to stick, this book is a great resource to point people to.
It's great to know that someone actually described those ideas and wrote down the thought process behind them. If only so you yourself don't have to argue for them over and over again…
Of course now we've come more or less full circle and gone all into institutionalizing the methods used to break the status quo.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code_Complete
See section "Reception" in above link.
Ask HN: What books changed the way you think about almost everything?
Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five - if you're thinking of having children or have young children already. This book gives some good insight on possible, data-driven ways to raise a happy and smart kid. I currently have a newborn and have altered some ways I behave around her. It also helps to think about how you were raised, and if that impacted the way you are.
The Mind Illuminated: A Complete Meditation Guide Integrating Buddhist Wisdom and Brain Science for Greater Mindfulness - if you're into meditation, I think this is the book to get. I started out with Headspace and this book takes it to the next level.
How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life - This was an entertaining book on how Scott Adams failed and succeeded. He gives some practical tips on what he did to get to where he is. Of course, there is survivorship bias, but I found some of it helpful.
The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism - People aren't born Charismatic. You can practice it.
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It - A book about negotiation. I used to hate negotiating. Heck I still do. While I might not use the exact tactics outlined in the book, it helped me realize that I should try to negotiate more. And it might have helped me to get good deals or better salary just by asking.
For people interested in this area, I can also recommend "The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read: (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)" (author: Philippa Perry).
“Sirens of Titan” by Kurt Vonnegut resonated with me on an emotional level.
It reads like a thriller, and it taught me so much about the history of the war that I never learned in high school or college.
The Guide for the Perplexed by Maimonides
On the Essence of Chassidus by Menachem Mendel Schneersohn
Agnostic as in “I haven’t had an experience to suggest there is a God”.
Atheist as in “my faith-based initiative is to totally believe there isn’t a God”.
Watched Nikki Glaser explain it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LUm51Z-Ii0 (8min)
Ordered the book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stop-Drinking-Now-Allen-Carrs/dp/18...
Now I so much more energy and feel so much better all the time.
Among the classic fiction the best so far were: T. Dreiser - The Bulwark, S. Maugham - Of Human Bondage, L. Tolstoy - The Kreutzer Sonata and E. Zola - l'Oeuvre & Germinal.
oh and The Bible
It has some of the best-written (no-fluff, non-patronizing, direct-while-gentle-and-kind) description of trauma and dealing with trauma of all kinds.
One of the life-changing premises for me (paraphrased): 1 in 5 to 1 in 3 women have had trauma-inducing experiences, from sexual coercion to assault to rape. While only 5% of the population acts as (mostly male) perpetrators, there are all these other (also majority male) partners who live with the women carrying the trauma and dealing with it. Doing this without any kind of understanding or education is very difficult, and even a small amount of understanding goes a long way.
The book itself is pretty interesting but there's one line in there about how Dave Cutler always takes his vacations on time, every time without question.
It never goes into any more details but that seemed totally at odds with what I expected? At least when hustle culture and the idea that leaders don't take breaks seems somewhat prevalent nowadays (or at least in the mid-2000s)
As someone whose parents don't take vacations all that often, and came from a small town where there's that sort of "I'm a good person because I work harder than you" mentality, I was kind of hoping Cutler might reveal his philosophy of why he takes holidays without failure.
Maybe he just likes holidays and I'm over thinking it haha
This is more provincial, but I think Neal Stephenson's Fall; or, Dodge in hell makes important statements on the current and (possible? likely?) state of the future of the Internet. It's inspired me to start several projects lately - that drive is why I love good sci-fi.
Answer to the second question but not the title one: "The Friendly Orange Glow" by Brian Dear is a well-written history of the PLATO computer system and, most importantly, of the community that grew around it.
These books taught me to take risk and importance of being different.
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” — Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn't have the courage to say "yes" to life?” ― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
5th Discipline by Peter Senge. On why complex systems (including humans) behave the way they do
Read them multiple times in my late teens / early 20s.
What also helped change mindsets to positive-by-default interactions with potential partners, I recommend The Alabaster Girl by Zan Perrion. Very flowery book, but an enjoyable read and at worst a decent mode of mind to consider.
The Re-enchantment of Art, by Suzi Gablik. I hated it when I first read it but then after reading it a second time realized she was right about a lot of things.
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1582074-the-wisdom-of-...
Maybe it didn’t “change my life” but as a physics/math student this was probably the single book that most affected my internal ideology, by simply raising so many questions I hadn’t ever considered (or if I had, it was clumsy and inadequate).
More recently, Disparities and Discrimination by Thomas Sowell was a real eye opener for me.
There’s an app and a website:
- iOS: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/the-book-of-mormon/id547313550 - Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.lds.bom - Website: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/ti...
More than enough wisdom packed in there to last a lifetime.
Masters of Deception: The Gang That Ruled Cyberspace
Illuminatus Trilogy
Neuromancer
CYBERPUNK: Outlaws and Hackers on the Computer Frontier
Xmas break (not weeks), life changing, recommended for everyone (here)...
Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!
by Diana Walstad
I received a copy as a gift and highly recommend it.
