Ask HN: Do you wake up with anxiety?

Used to have panic attacks and constant anxiety (without knowing what they are and what was wrong with me) every day for about 2 years triggered by a bad cannabis experience . Turned out I was predespositioned and it runs in my dads family. It started to mix with depression. 7 Years later I still sometimes get panic attacks and anxiety and dystonic thoughts, especially when my perceived stress is high (I work as a freelance SE). I have identified following long term factors that help bringing frequency and severity down significantly (talking about going from daily to maybe once every few months): - Exercise 4 times a week (preferably running) - Eat healthy (I cut sugar and eat according to an app 90% of the time) - Being outside every day and exposing myself to sunlight - Balancing alone time with social time according to my needs - Walk away from things that stress me out for no real benefit (that also means walking away from people) - Do not overpromise

Factors that help me coping when it hits anyway: - Breath slowly, deeply and on exhale remind myself that its only temporary - Put my feet on a cold floor - Smile and nod - Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (google it) - Walk outside

CTO of UK IoT business. Yep, I once had this daily, but now, not every day but maybe once or twice every week or so.

For me, after some experimentation and ruling things out one by one, I found it to be bunch of things. First and foremost for me it was caused by work. Those lovely insane deadlines from the board are a big source of anxiety for me. Also, what I am consuming. Consuming from a diet perspective, news, social media etc etc. Oh and dont forget the after work beer or two some days!

My solution that has worked was to do the usual diet tidy up, reduction of alcohol, EXERCISE. Then some thinking on a daily basis. Not the cool kids meditation but more just mindful thankfulness for what my life has given me. With all the craziness in the world, being thankful for the little things made my daily existence more content and happy.

Important to take time out for yourself too. Get yourself a hobby or some other interest that sparks a passion in you again. Or just timeout to do whatever floats ones boat. Your time is important. Even if that means getting up with the lark, do it.

I have also found a technique, by accident, when I am feeling anxious or being confronted with a stressful situation in work or other situations. The technique involves a mental note to almost "rise" above or "tape a step back" from myself and the situation I am in. In real-time too. This enables me to detach from the moment, without going into shutdown and see what is causing the emotional build up. Normally, its the lack of understanding, the known unknowns if you get me. Most worry comes to zilch. Remember that.

Hope this helps you friend.

Software developer here, suffered from periodic anxiety over the years. Not debilitating anxiety, but enough to feel the negative effects. The key for me was identifying the triggers, finding solutions and taking back control. These things worked for me.

Substances: - Coffee. Max 2 cups p/day with a 3pm cut-off time - Keep alcohol to a minimum (special occasions only) - Eliminate all other recreational drugs (Cocaine, MDMA etc..)

Diet: - Cut out fast food, junk food & refined food - Keep sugar consumption to a minimum - Eat lots of fruit and veg, especially leafy greens - Drink lots of water - Reduce meat consumption (I eat meat 1-2 x per week)

Exercise: - Lift heavy weights 3-4 times per week - Walk daily for at least an hour in nature/away from traffic and noise - Go running or do HIIT regularly (Anything to get heart rate elevated) - Move around, a lot. Get up from your desk every hour

Job: - Find something you enjoy, are good at and can be paid for - Find something challenging, do not become complacent - Work with good people who you can learn from - Keep commuting time to a minimum

Finances: - Gain a stable regular income - Cut away all unnecessary expenses - Clear existing debts - Start saving

Relationship: - If it's not working, fix it or end it. Don't procrastinate, don't delay - I personally feel more mentally stable when I'm single

Absolutely. Same thing as you-- for the same reasons, I dread going to bed. I dread waking up. I do everything I can to avoid being at my desk.

This all started about six months into quarantine. Went away briefly but now back with a vengeance.

While I do have some personal drama going on, I'm thinking SAD is playing some part in this too-- the days are shorter and darker. I was already prone to that pre-COVID.

Mind that your relaxation space and work space are now permanently commingled. You can't get away from work. It lives with you now.

I don't have a solution for you, but hang in there. It should get better when you regain the option of leaving your work at the office.

I started a Silicon Valley FANG job about two years ago. I now wake up early most mornings with anxiety. I’m close to 40 years old, and this is the first time in my life I’ve experienced this.

I’ve wondered if the pandemic and quarantining has exacerbated this. I don’t have much going on in my life right now besides work, and get little human contact beyond Zoom calls with my coworkers.

> Psychologically and philosophically speaking, the root cause is not work, rather my own mind :shrug:

I would not self-diagnose here. I'm not sure what the :shrug: conveys, but you seem to somewhat downplay the anxiety by saying it's all in your own mind. I'd definitely seek professional help. It's pretty great, it's like debugging your mind and will help you further in your professional life.

I left the IT industry just over a year ago and have some observations. Hopefully they will bring a smile and some encouragement to the stressed.

- Devs can be dicks to each other

- Managers can be dicks to devs and vice versa

- Devs need to get outside more, not just when travelling to work

- Devs should look up and not play games at lunchtime

- Devs should not eat their lunch at their desk

- Devs should enjoy good coffee but not be weird about it

- Devs should mix with others in the company, even sales and admin

- Devs should leave their work at work

- Devs should go outside to places where they can find a partner

- Devs should say hello to people when they arrive in work

- Devs should say goodbye to people when they leave work

- Devs should either walk, run, climb, garden, chop wood, sail, fish, build and/or go out for dinner at the weekend.

In 2011-2012 I woke up nearly every morning before work with a panic attack or severe anxiety for several months at a time. A combination of therapy, quitting my job, and exercise helped me a ton.

Therapy: The focus was on techniques from cognitive behavior therapy.

Job: Don't do this if it doesn't make sense for you. I crunched the numbers and found I could last 2 years on my savings without much struggle (I was young, single, and debt free, this was not as much as it sounds as my apartment was cheap). I got another job immediately, though.

Exercise: I found that being healthier reduced my general anxiety and depression symptoms right off the bat. But running, for me, is also incredibly relaxing as it is "mindless". 30-60 minutes of "move a leg, move a leg, breathe, move a leg, move a leg, breathe". Whatever anxiety I left work with disappears after a run. I've maintained a pretty consistent (except for last year, and a couple periods with injuries) exercise routine since discovering this.

For me, creating that clean break at the end of the workday did wonders for my general anxiety but also for my sleep (and poor sleep itself exacerbates anxiety and depression). I was going to bed thinking about technical problems or other work issues (frustrations with project directions, with poor management decisions, etc.), and consequently slept poorly. Letting go of work with my after work runs meant my evenings were mine again, and my sleep significantly improved. Being fitter also improves sleep, at least for me. I kind of let myself go last year, but started exercising again in December. I have been falling asleep faster and sleeping more soundly than any time in 2020.

Got into hospital a few times with anxiety attacks in my 20s and have suffered from constant and recurring anxiety since. From years working through it and trying to improve my mental health, I noticed that anxiety is due to (perceived or real) lack of control over something I care about. In my experience, it always boils down to this and once I take back control of the issue in question (or stop caring about it), then I can see improvement almost instantly.

I don’t agree that the root cause is in your mind - it is as much an issue with your actions as it is with your attitude. A lot of great advice in this thread (about healthy eating, exercise, etc) but the key in my opinion is to test these suggestions thoroughly to find what works for you. And discipline is super important - otherwise you can’t trust your results are really due to the changes you make in your life or just a random coincidence.

Yes. For five years I’ve been in developer roles with endless responsibility and zero mentorship and it has built itself into an anxiety disorder of sorts such that sometimes I’m not good for more then a few dozens of lines of code.

Lots of good advice in this thread. For me:

Most mornings I wake up and feel reasonably ok. I've had much darker periods in my past and think I'm in a pretty good place these days.

I try not to check my phone right away and instead read or write a bit as the day gets started.

At least two walks outside in the sun with music or a podcast or silence.

Meditate every day. Work out or run daily. Try to eat reasonably clean, lots of veggies and fruit.

Journaling a few times a week. Therapy twice a month, mostly focused on relationship stuff.

Time every day to focus on myself, my hobbies, my friends, good music, drawing, writing, reading.

No notifications on my phone while I'm trying to focus. Clear communication with my team around deliverables, dates, and issues.

On the philosophical front, reading Alan Watts' Wisdom of Insecurity helped a lot.

Yes I have issues with anxiety and depression. I've been on meds for it for a little over 5 years now.

I've done therapy with mixed success. I just haven't found a therapist that I click with.

The big thing is that I have to be mindful of what my triggers are and avoid them. A big one for me is stress and uncertainty about what will go wrong next. So I have to be cognizant of that when I'm looking for a job. I avoid rolls where I have to do production support, and especially on call rotations. I did that for 10 years and it just wore me down to nothing. I've also learned that I need to avoid early stage start ups due to the financial instability causing stress.

Thankfully my last 2 jobs have been good for me from a stability point.

I have been able to: 1. Reason my way out of anxiety. 2. Take my mind off anxiety by visualizing myself surf the perfect wave. 3. Box breathing.

#2 is very effective in going back to sleep and has yet to get old / used up after years of use.

I've had weeks and months like this.

The general healthy advice all worked for me to different degrees.

Exercise, meeting friends and having non-desk/screentime intensive hobbies.

Meeting friends and nurturing those relationships helped hugely. And sadly, the second most effective thing was switching to a less-intense team.

I've definitely seen other friends with unhealthy habits and anxiety in the industry too so I'd try some of these and see if it helps.

And you could definitely try therapy and/or medical help too.

No.

Historically, there were few bad periods. Looking back, each time it was because the environment in work was bad in some way. Either it was objectively bad in a way that I normalized in my head (meaning actually toxic but I considered that behavior normal at the time). Or, simply, you are bad match for actual position you are in. "Software engineering" is not one job, it is more of many different positions requiring different personality kinds.

It seems a simplistic answer but... hard physical work does wonders. Workout is OK but cutting woods, moving earth, building wooden things really put mind to peace. Maybe our wonderful tech work is just the new version of the boring secretary job in old movies. We need to run, sweat, build. I wrote the best pieces of code and engineered long lasting architectures after such activities.

HRV breathing (deep belly breathing) and "accepting" my anxiety during the breathing helped me, but one has to train consistently. some books on the topic (by phds or mds, not wuwu-shamans):

> Invincible: How we can train our hearts to beat stress and achieve success

> The Healing Power of the Breath: Simple Techniques to Reduce Stress and Anxiety, Enhance Concentration, and Balance Your Emotions

Yes. I work in an early stage startup as the main engineer (founder is an engineer but has lots of outreach stuff to do) and so I always have a months worth of stuff to do. I wake up every morning with anxiety that doesn’t ease up until after I walk the dog, drink a cup of tea and do standup. I always feel behind even though I’m usually further ahead than am expected to be.

> I want to do a pulse check to see how common it is for folks working in tech, to suffer from this level of anxiety.

Common or not, if you have anxiety/depression it means something is not right.

If you can afford, try therapy, go to a psychologist. It is better to get professional help than to get random free advice from the internet. And also: eat properly, sleep properly, exercise properly...

I used to suffer badly with anxiety (and depression) for years. I was fortunately able to get the help I need and eventually recover. Around the same time I had about a month off work.

The day of my return, as I drove in, I noticed I felt physically sick. It took me a few moments to realise it was anxiety, and that I had forgotten what it felt like.

I handed in my notice 3 days later.

Yes, working on an EdTech startup. I truly wonder how things will turn out, but the one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was 'things are never as bad or as good as they seem'.

It's not a perfect strategy, but it helps to remind me not to be in a peak or trough, and instead think and see things long term and from a higher perspective.

Going through a bout of it right now. :(

I feel physically sick just thinking about joining the morning standup from home.

Working remotely has made it cutting off from work much easier.

I end up feeling anxious and guilty and sad all day.

Add a calcium & magnesium supplement to your diet first thing every morning.

Magnesium(Mg+) was especially good for me. I noticed a difference in only a half hour. This is easy to try: you needn't see a doctor, replace all the light bulbs in your house, wear a Holter monitor, be psychoanalyzed or spend 3 months in a therapy group, learn "box breathing" or join an exercise class (although long term those may help).

Stop at the next drugstore, buy a bottle of magnesium tablets, pop two and be on your way. In twenty minutes you'll know whether it's helping. FWIW "TUMS" is a mix of calcium and Mg+ (a bit low on the Mg+ to be a supplement but enough to tell if it's missing from your diet).

There are too many people out there who have a lousy diet and b/c they are missing one or two ingredients in that diet, are totally screwed up. Sad.

My first bout with anxiety started when I got engaged. Heart palpitations, had to wear a Holter monitor for a week, the works, but everything checked out fine... Skip a few years and then decided to buy my first house. I'd been staying up for tons of hours trying to bank a bunch of cash for the down payment. Was working on a project that was make-or-break for a local startup, the guy before me didn't care enough, but I wouldn't let it fail, stayed up for 4 days building it and BOOM, crippling anxiety again. Different though, couldn't take full breaths of air this time. But in both cases I wasn't getting enough sleep. Got some sleep, talked to my doctor, then my dad, and then I was fine. Used to stay up for 2-3 days during college all the time so I really didn't think much of it. Sleep is huge.

Your anxiety is trying to save you, just as much as depression.[0]

Disclaimer: I am not a professional in medicine of any kind, just another techie, recovering from the depths of anxiety.

Do not blame yourself for your anxiety. Look for causes in your environment. By the shrug you seem to accept it, yet you know it's wrong.

Seek help, be it professional or supportive environment outside work, be it a new hobby, be it sky watching, etc... Add different stimulii to your mind before going to sleep.

Once you find out what is wrong, address it. Is your anxiety caused by uncertainty? What uncertainty? Do you have control over it?

BTDT, never again. All the money one making will all go to health care. There are plenty of discussions on HN about recovery advice.[0]

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25546043

Same here. I recall being most anxious when I worked in level 3 customer support many years ago - a different highly stressful customer problem would land in my lap each day. I used many things to help with it.

One thing that was crucially important for me was to understand the biological causes of anxiety and how it occurs in the human brain. The book Rewire Your Anxious Brain by Catherine Pittman and Elizabeth Karle helped me a great deal. The biggest insight that I got from that book was understanding that there are two distinct causes for anxiety (one that comes directly from external stimuli and one that comes from our thought processes) which we need to deal with in fundamentally different ways. The book gives a lot of advice and strategies for coping with both causes and I highly recommend it.

I'm suffering extreme work anxiety. I almost never sleep. I'm trying to get out but that takes time and I need the paycheck. I decided to start job hunting when I realized that I'd rather die than get up in the morning. Duty to my kids is the only thing keeping me going.

When you have anxiety and there’s a “reason” for it, it’s not actually anxiety. This is called stress, since you know that the underlying cause is work. It’s an important distinction, similar to panic attacks versus anxiety attacks. Knowing the cause is half the battle.

No.

I always wonder in discussions like this how much more common they make the issue seem, because people don't exactly start threads saying "Ask HN: I don't have anxiety, and everything is great, is that common?"

CEO of a tech startup in Vietnam. Definitely used to but no longer. When Covid 19 hit earlier last year, I and my cofounders panicked and couldn’t focus on work for a while...

For me, anxiety is very bad, and often results from stressful situations, bad relationships and uncontrollable risks. My recommendation is: take notes of all your worries in the morning, try to find a way to address them; if some can’t be address then it’s no longer a problem. Friends and family also can help with anxiety a lot!

This is a disordered degree of anxiety, even if it's relatively common. You should absolutely see a therapist and/or psychiatrist. Anxiety is very treatable.

Not I, though I don't really work in tech, but I was listening to an interesting talk on avoiding it by self examination and philosophy type stuff which I recommend:

>Naval Ravikant on Happiness, Reducing Anxiety, Crypto Stablecoins, and More | The Tim Ferriss Show - YouTube

https://youtu.be/HiYo14wylQw?t=2376 for the anxiety bit.

> I want to do a pulse check to see how common

You're not going to get that without a poll. Do a poll

The format of your post is going to mostly get affirmatives and thoughtful advice.

BTW, I do not wake with anxiety.

The root of all suffering is the mind. So, you got that right.

If this is something you want to change you'll need to work on it, obviously. There are many paths to the solution you seek as it is a perennial problem of intelligence.

Only if I put something off that I should have finished or started the following day. Usually this is only the case if I've actually been procrastinating for at least 2-3 days and really needed to start the following day.

I have ways to recognize this kind of anxiety now and basic steps / thought exercises to turn anxious energy into more productive positive thoughts.

I used to, but it was a nutritional deficiency for me. To fix that, I had to decalcify my vascular system and gut, then slowly re-introduce calcium lactate. Now I don't wake up with anxiety or a racing mind. A calcium deficiency (not a lack of consumption, but a lack of pathway uptake) can cause anxiety and tachycardia.

When I was employed at one particular place for six months, I woke up in the middle of the night with a nightmare most Sunday through Thursday nights.

It didn't take a lot of analysis to figure out the implications of that pattern. Everyone is different, but sometimes it may be fair to say that the root cause is work.

One thing that helped me manage anxiety was to monitor my caffeine consumption more closely. I found that if I went over a certain threshold (> 4-5 cups of espresso) my overall functioning was pretty severely impacted. Sometimes this resulted in me waking up super stressed and not relaxed at all in the morning and not getting enough sleep overall. Now I have a strict no coffee/tea after 14:00-15:00 policy. If I feel particularly stressed after a work day I go for a run to really exhaust my remaining energy.

I also tend to make lists ~1-2 hours before going to bed, categorised by project, for the next day, so that I can let go of all the tasks that I can't accomplish right now. I really like Things (paid app for macOS / iOS) for that purpose, but also toyed with org-mode and task-warrior.

It might be worth doing a sleep study to rule out biological reasons for waking up anxious.

I was having a lot of trouble waking up with my heart racing and feeling a lot of anxiety. Turned out I had sleep apnea, and what I was experiencing was a response to not breathing for 10 seconds at a time while asleep.

Yes, all the time. I'm constantly worried, and I have a lot of difficulty managing it. I think mine originates from a couple of bad employment interactions I had a decade-ish ago, but I could be wrong.

I used to, more so when I woke in the middle of the night than in the morning.

I started exercising a lot more and now find I am so tired I don't wake up before my alarm, reducing alcohol intake helped too.

You must nip it before it gets too late.

I worked for a FAANG (Amzn Bayarea) for 5yrs and it was worst 5yrs of my life.

My current situation is I have Vocal Cord Dysfunction and Laryngospasm. In addition to host other problems like GERD, GI, sinus infections, cold sores. NONE of which I had before starting this job. Before this job, I was at the pinnacle of my health.

It wasn't so much the work which I actually loved, but the people and company's methodology for recognition, reviews and promotion.

It basically got down to two things:

1. Bullying.

2. Systematic discrimination.

I created an entire department from scratch, built it to 20+ people when I left and became one of the most talkabout group. I worked multiple days/nights straight, weekends and late nights to make it all work for 3+ yrs. A lot of which was getting down to my hands and knees sweat type even though I am a PM.

So what did I get? My role was replaced by an insider who influenced the hirer to hire all of his friends and replace my role as department head. Then I got relegated to the bottom of the org structure. My name is on everything on this org which eventually all got replaced by my replacements. I simply quit after all doors closed due to notes in HR files I'm sure.

My current situation with VCD/Larynogospasm. You do NOT ever want to get to this point. Laryngospasm basically is when your vocal cord closes while it's spasming and you can't breathe. You feel like you're about to die because no matter how hard you try, you can't get a breathe in. Eventually you can breath but like being water boarded, you won't die but the experience is unforgettable. I get this multiple times a day. I can't drive or even play with my kid. In addition, I also have syncope which is blacking out when you cough. There is no remedy or understanding asto why this happens except mental.

Now back to your situation. When they say stress can kill, they really meant it. I feel like I'm going to die every day because of my problems which includes syncope where I blackout coughing.

1. You need to mitigate your stress inducers

2. You need therapy to help you. Men generally don't talk and keep things in. That will kill you.

3. You must find regularity in daily walks outside with sun in nature, away from people.

4. Your own thoughts will bring you down. you must find peace by eliminating your stressors. Worse case you can't, then stop taking it personally because it isn't you, it's them.

I feel absolutely horrible asto what happened to me and feel helpless. However thinking back, I could have done more to help myself. It's all mind games. You must create strategic alliances and maintain some conduit to which people who are decision makers can see and hear you.

Ultimately I now understand the adage of "it's who you know, not what you know."

I realize now why so many upper mgmt are such morons and idiots.

Be good to yourself, talk to someone, take breaks out in nature. You MUST find release for all the stress you're going through. I cannot live with what I have. Matter of fact, I just had a laryngospasm in writing this. I'm reduced to being on my knees, gasping for air, using my O2, ventolin which none helps since they can't reach my lungs.

Letting stress take over your life will kill you.....

Good luck and take care of yourself because NO ONE will.

Nice guys truly do finish last....

Go outside as soon as possible after waking up.

yea everyday

YES

I'm next to you

Angst when waking up can be tied to cortisol/etc dysfunction - hormone/endocrine imbalance.

Cortisol gives us "panic", it's how we wake. Not showing off, just figure it could help your research.