undefined | Better HN

0 pointsdrewbug014y ago0 comments

> And I really don't understand why your sexual preferences should be known to/by your coworkers either.

Well, to be fair - when I say “my husband” that doesn’t talk about sexual preferences any more than saying “my wife.”

I don’t see how that’s talking about sex, do you?

0 comments

analogdreams4y ago

In conjunction with knowing your gender, I believe it does, or at least provides a very strong suggestion.

The point is neither should matter, and I would argue, neither should be known, in the workplace.

drewbug01OP4y ago

I mean, anonymous handles and no in-person (or zoom) chat might make that sorta possible, but you can’t get around the problem.

The real issue is that this is only a problem in one direction: nobody complains when someone says “my wife,” and some people definitely complain when someone says “my husband”.

It definitely gets made about sex, and gay sex specifically, by the people making the complaint. They’re the ones making it about sex and not leaving it alone as a conversation about one’s spouse.

analogdreams4y ago

Which is why it should all be avoided in the workplace. This is not a debate about the merits of gay or straight sexual orientation.

My coworkers have no need to know if I am in a relationship, have children, etc. If they ask I will (and do) tell them I am not interested in having that conversation and I will never ask them or engage further if they bring their partner/spouse/children up.

I'm there to do a job and leave as quickly as possible upon completing the days work. Everything else, in my opinion, is a distraction hampering that goal.

1 more reply

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse

0 pointsdrewbug014y ago0 comments

> And I really don't understand why your sexual preferences should be known to/by your coworkers either.

Well, to be fair - when I say “my husband” that doesn’t talk about sexual preferences any more than saying “my wife.”

I don’t see how that’s talking about sex, do you?

0 comments

analogdreams4y ago

In conjunction with knowing your gender, I believe it does, or at least provides a very strong suggestion.

The point is neither should matter, and I would argue, neither should be known, in the workplace.

drewbug01OP4y ago

I mean, anonymous handles and no in-person (or zoom) chat might make that sorta possible, but you can’t get around the problem.

The real issue is that this is only a problem in one direction: nobody complains when someone says “my wife,” and some people definitely complain when someone says “my husband”.

analogdreams4y ago

Which is why it should all be avoided in the workplace. This is not a debate about the merits of gay or straight sexual orientation.

I'm there to do a job and leave as quickly as possible upon completing the days work. Everything else, in my opinion, is a distraction hampering that goal.

1 more reply

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse