All of these problems sound like they come from developers who don't know how to develop distributed systems. If anything this should be simplifying an otherwise intractible problem. I have seen people overuse messaging and had to fix what I could. I otherwise reach for RMQ as a simple solution to horizontal scaling and I write the software to easily switch brokers (Aws SQS, on prem RMQ, cloud RMQ). It's not something that you choose to adopt and then force developers to make every interaction a distributed message.