I love San Francisco. I love walking around Russian hill, Cole valley, Noe valley, getting a burrito in the mission, biking through golden gate park, chilling in Alamo square, etc.
Although I am a techie, I’ve grown away from associating with tech. It’s my 9-5, but afterwards I want to talk about anything else. I do read HN religiously though :)
I am still dating and am at a point in my life where this is very important. At a cis male what is the scene like?
I make good money, but I still have a deep sense of what something should be worth. Paying 2.8k for a 1 bedroom hurts but I can afford it. Otherwise the city seems expensive but not outrageous. I had a sushi roll for $15, which is like $3 more than it should be imo.
I could go on. What I would really appreciate is what long term SF residents think about SF life. Can I find friends here? Make a relationship? Will the insane beauty of twin peaks wear off?
Thanks HN
> Although I am a techie, I’ve grown away from associating with tech. It’s my 9-5, but afterwards I want to talk about anything else. I do read HN religiously though :)
In my totally honest opinion, if you are shying away from the tech identity, then SF might be a bad choice. The city culture is, these days, totally defined by the tech world. Many people you'll meet there in your age/socioeconomic group will be in tech and more than likely they live and breathe tech.
> Can I find friends here? Make a relationship? Will the insane beauty of twin peaks wear off?
Yes, yes, and yes. I've moved cities a few times, each time stary-eyed and optimistic. The novelties wear off quickly, and when your experience is different than how you imagined life to be shock can even settle in. You'll stop noticing the natural beauty and start resenting things like those "15 dollar sushi rolls", and then the city just becomes like anywhere else. You'll meet friends, develop relationships, settle in and maybe in a few years you'll be asking the same question about Portland or Austin or Istanbul... or maybe you'll settle down and live the rest of your days in Noe valley ;).
Life is uncertain. Have fun.
Homeless will sleep at your doorstep and piss on your door. Homeless are not confined to the tenderloin. They are everywhere.
Crime is increasing. 13 walgreens have shut down, due to blatant thievery by criminal gangs. And no arrest or prosecution of thieves.
As for dating. The male-female ratio is skewed male on the west coast. Opposite on the east coast. And in the bay area, many more males vs females.
There are many better options and locations. Why even commit to a location? Why not explore them all? 3-6 months at a time?
Austin, Boulder, NYC, Singapore. The world is your oyster. If you go international, you save money on US taxes. Foreign Earned Income Tax Credit.
Do you have any source for that? I haven't really seen this, but I haven't exactly travelled enough to evaluate two entire coasts.
Edit: Why downvote?
https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/male-to-fem...
If or when the magic wears thin, then you'll be free to explore further.
As far as relationships go, as long as you do the things you really enjoy, then you'll meet like-minded people and it is through such people that you meet The One.
Yes, prices are high. As long as you see it as paying for what you get, it should be fine. If you start becoming resentful of it, then it also will be a sign to move on.
Life is short: do what you love and lead an exciting life
Life is long: invest for the long term and don’t blow your paycheck
If you ask me, I see San Francisco as an overly hyped (the hype is going down lately) place, and a very superficial one at that.
But if you enjoy being there for non work reasons and you don't see another option that you like somewhere else, go for it.
I think SF will start to decrease in popularity, so maybe the prices will get better in the future.
Not bad but wayyyyy better in NYC.
I've been doing the digital nomad thing for many years and while I'm more or less ready to be done with it, I think it's worth doing for a while if you can and you seem perfectly set up for it.
The lifestyle you can live in Chiang Mai or Medellin or a few other spots for whatever you'd be paying to live in SF is hard to describe without seeming hyperbolic.
If it appeals to you it's worth looking into. My email is on my account feel free to reach out if you have any questions.
But maybe look at some other large cities and see if others might be a better fit…and it’s not like you can’t move around every 6-12 months either.
I’m a techie, love visiting the Bay Area, but it’s not for me.
I do love LA for the density of creative folk that live there + weather. NYC is great for having everything at your fingertips, insane diversity in every facet of life, and so many high achieving residents. Chicago has an awesome big city feel, lots of amenities for cheap, but lacks a certain reach to the higher levels and the weather is brutal.
I think most large cities offer a lot for anyone under 45 who isn’t settled and is willing to put in the work to build a life/friend-group. All have trade-offs, just figure out what sounds the best.
You can always do a 180 and head back to where you came from.
I left SF and never looked back.
My values maybe different from yours but I refused to buy more taxes than common sense dictates. Especially watching crime and filth level grows in SF and it's surroundings.
However again - follow you passion and excitement.
You know that situation where you're out to brunch at a popular spot, there are 10 people on the list, maybe it's raining. Everyone's crowding inside, you try to stand in one spot but it is blocking the list, you try another spot but the waitress wants by, you try a third and now you're blocking the door. That's how I feel about SF all day every day. There's no space for me. Street cleaning: move the car, traffic: people won't let you merge, Dinner: "it'll be a 45 minute wait" that's fine, I'll go to the bookstore. "oh we called you 20 minutes early (why weren't you here?)" So now you lost your table. (this happened to me last night). What else... parking is a nightmare, the bus is full of vomit and shit, don't walk down mission street in Soma (oh you work there? be sure to step over the needles and human feces). And the subway only goes one place. And the day a cracked out homeless guy tries to sell you a lego set is the highlight of the year because at least it wasn't drugs.
You can avoid those areas, but I was just driving some out of town friends to their hotel on Nob Hill and Robin says to me, "I think that guy's pants are entirely off." I see people with their pants down basically every time I go out. It's fine, I don't really care, but I haven't stepped in this much human excrement since I wandered around the slums of Mumbai and it starts to wear on you.
Over last 4 years - more crime, more drug activity, more police presence.
Outrageous taxes. More disrespect and ignorance towards local businesses from politicians.
On a personal level (many here will disagree) i detest watching politicians dividing, selling out and destroying our country. But this is different story, moving cross the state borders doesn't help in this case.
Because you're single with no kids I would get a room in a house with others. That way you're not spending all your money on rent.
At this stage in my life I would live alone; it’s true that roommates would make the rent more palatable
If family is anywhere in tarot cards, I’d recommend moving elsewhere. The majority of SF is 20 years behind their biological prime for the type of relationship they are looking for. Sort of like going to college in your 40s. You think that won’t be you, but, as a man, it’s not your choice. Otherwise, there are a lot of single childless career women in their late 40s and 50s, who will be much more interesting to talk to than anybody in their family years.
Your life will become increasingly restricted by people and obligations as you get older.
San Francisco isn’t going anywhere.
One thing to consider (numbers perspective, not emotions) is opportunity cost of $2800/month for say 5 years vs. living somewhere with a lower cost of living. If you are living somewhere where renting is $1k/month then over 5 years the difference is $100k.
Surely people in every major and mid-size metro area make friends, have romantic relationships and eat sushi. If you have no ties to SF and see yourself disassociating from tech then there are a lot of options to look at. Sushi on the coasts is probably better than sushi in Oklahoma, just a guess on my part though.
Personally, I'm never going to get married because such a thing doesn't interest me. My plans to move to Vancouver Island will have me paying for many things that wouldn't exist if I'd move to California. Also, autonomous vehicles jobs don't exist in British Columbia. Still, it's something that I want to do.
What I'm trying to say is "Do what feels right to you."
