It was a bad civil war. Just like your parents felt they were risking death, the Jews felt the same. The Jews had a good reason to feel that, its not far fetched they were facing massacres if they lost. And expulsion for sure. Some Arab leaders made no effort to hide their wishes to eliminate the Jewish state. It became a bad zero sum game. Ilan Pappe is a known anti Zionis, which is fine, but I can cherry pick Historians who are more sympathetic to Zionism just as easily. Israel was actually not that effective in expelling Arabs as you probably well know around 20% never fled and eventually became citizens. They get more equality as Palestinians in Israel than they can ever dream of in any other Arab country.