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0 pointsnaravara4y ago0 comments

Doesn’t this depend on having friends who are off the internet too?

In the before times, I’d go to get drinks with friends and often found they were chronically distracted. If there’s a lull in conversation they pull out their phones. I go to the bathroom and come back and they’re swiping through Tinder.

I got married before the dating apps got popular so I never went down that particular rabbit hole, but I feel like they’ve severely damaged people’s ability to pay attention to where they are and who they’re with.

0 comments

JohnWhigham4y ago

If there’s a lull in conversation they pull out their phones.

I despise how this behavior has been completely normalized. Especially in the dating sphere. People putting their phones on the table to make sure they never miss notifications is just so fucking disrespectful to the people you're actually with.

acuozzo4y ago

> People putting their phones on the table to make sure they never miss notifications is just so fucking disrespectful to the people you're actually with.

FWIW, I don't use my phone while out to eat with another person, but I do put it on the table—on silent!—because it's large enough to be uncomfortable in my front pants pocket(s) while sitting.

SamoyedFurFluff4y ago

Personally I never understood it as disrespectful, because I assume they’ve got some personal shit they might not be able to be uncontactable for. What if someone they know is in the hospital or they’re in some other high priority issue? What if a close friend of theirs is in a tenuous health position? What if they’re checking on their children? And most certainly they’re not going to tell me and frankly I’m not entitled to whatever shit they’ve got going through it we’re just getting to know if we like each other broadly. I think assuming I should have dedicated time to someone who is just seeing if we get along is rather selfish of me- I don’t know their life enough to know if they have other priorities they’re trying to balance.

rocketbop4y ago

> What if someone they know is in the hospital or they’re in some other high priority issue? What if a close friend of theirs is in a tenuous health position? What if they’re checking on their children?

Even if any or all of that is true you can still put your phone away. If it's an emergency someone will call you.

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eldaisfish4y ago

there was a time before people were reachable 24/7 and at no point in that time did the world or people's lives collapse.

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gjhh2444y ago

You can always find new friends once you start meeting people off internet. Tbh I find purely online friendships not to last long, especially now as an adult.

hvgk4y ago

This. Just hit some random shit on Meetup.com that looks interesting which bridges the gap to the real world.

Online social is a complete shit show. You’re spending time with peoples outward persona not real people.

OneTimePetes4y ago

Everyone is at work.

In germany if you take a walk during the daytime your looked upon as a "slacker".

Friends require to be condemned to boredom together.

Relationship require something called perspectives in life. Why produce spawn for a dieing world?

This is what you wanted in the 70s when you demonstrated for a "humanity" capable to hold back from environmental destruction.

Its a species of monks, waiting in their cells to dwindle to zero.

raverbashing4y ago

Of course. That's the type of "boomer solution" that a) solves nothing b) only makes sense for those who don't have that problem in the first place

It goes the same way of telling "stop being sad" to depressed people or the most meaningless advice of "just be yourself".

phone86753094y ago

Or, perhaps a more charitable reading may be "if you’re not staring at a screen perhaps you’ll meet people while out and form social bonds"?

If you’re very online and you’re lonely being very online then proposing that you change what you’re doing to perhaps get different results is not the same thing as "have you tried not being sad????"

raverbashing4y ago

And why do people think someone just going offline will magically start talking to people (where? with whom?)

It's like telling an obese person to go exercise. It is meaningless advice. "Oh but can they figure it out right" Well, if they could maybe they wouldn't be so lonely.

And even more in boomer style "just take your printed CV to McDonalds to get a job" pulling people offline might be just cutting the only social link most of them have, instead of leveraging it.

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JohnWhigham4y ago

If there’s a lull in conversation they pull out their phones.

acuozzo4y ago

> People putting their phones on the table to make sure they never miss notifications is just so fucking disrespectful to the people you're actually with.

FWIW, I don't use my phone while out to eat with another person, but I do put it on the table—on silent!—because it's large enough to be uncomfortable in my front pants pocket(s) while sitting.

SamoyedFurFluff4y ago

rocketbop4y ago

Even if any or all of that is true you can still put your phone away. If it's an emergency someone will call you.

1 more reply

eldaisfish4y ago

there was a time before people were reachable 24/7 and at no point in that time did the world or people's lives collapse.

1 more reply

gjhh2444y ago

You can always find new friends once you start meeting people off internet. Tbh I find purely online friendships not to last long, especially now as an adult.

hvgk4y ago

This. Just hit some random shit on Meetup.com that looks interesting which bridges the gap to the real world.

Online social is a complete shit show. You’re spending time with peoples outward persona not real people.

OneTimePetes4y ago

Everyone is at work.

In germany if you take a walk during the daytime your looked upon as a "slacker".

Friends require to be condemned to boredom together.

Relationship require something called perspectives in life. Why produce spawn for a dieing world?

This is what you wanted in the 70s when you demonstrated for a "humanity" capable to hold back from environmental destruction.

Its a species of monks, waiting in their cells to dwindle to zero.

raverbashing4y ago

Of course. That's the type of "boomer solution" that a) solves nothing b) only makes sense for those who don't have that problem in the first place

It goes the same way of telling "stop being sad" to depressed people or the most meaningless advice of "just be yourself".

phone86753094y ago

Or, perhaps a more charitable reading may be "if you’re not staring at a screen perhaps you’ll meet people while out and form social bonds"?

raverbashing4y ago

And why do people think someone just going offline will magically start talking to people (where? with whom?)

It's like telling an obese person to go exercise. It is meaningless advice. "Oh but can they figure it out right" Well, if they could maybe they wouldn't be so lonely.

And even more in boomer style "just take your printed CV to McDonalds to get a job" pulling people offline might be just cutting the only social link most of them have, instead of leveraging it.

2 more replies

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