As you say relations with NaN don’t make sense, but given the requirement of a single value NaN != NaN makes the most “sense” mathematically, and a core principle of ieee754 was ensuring the most accurate rendition of true maths with a finite representation (see a bunch of papers by Kahan).

Of course x87’s ieee754 implementation does actually have multiple NaNs, infinities, and representations of the same value. For all its quirks remember x87 was what demonstrated that the ieee754 specification could be made fast and affordably, which non-intel manufacturers were all claiming was impossible. The only real “flaw”* in x87 was the explicit leading 1, which was an artifact of it intel being sufficiently ahead of the curve to predate dropping it.

* the x87 transcendtals are known to be hopelessly inaccurate, but that in theory could have been fixed, whereas the format could not be.