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0 pointsGrustaf4y ago0 comments

Why do you need to do that?

0 comments

Speaking as a foster parent: my agency like many have rules against posting foster kids to social media. Usually intended to help protect kid's privacy. I think the motivation comes from a handful of places, protecting kids from being exploited for likes, keeping kids privacy, but a big one in foster circles is so that people don't know you're a foster kid unless you say so. Most adults in the system take great care to not acknowledge kids if they run into them in public to avoid situations where kids have to explain to their friends, "Who is that?" and then having an awkward situation where they have to say something like, "That's my caseworker/therapist/whatever".

GrustafOP4y ago

Some of these make sense (not that I agree with them), but don't seem peculiar to foster children. But what does this one mean?

> so that people don't know you're a foster kid unless you say so.

If you post a photo of your family and none of the children have emoji faces, why would anyone conclude that the foster child is a foster child? Because he looks different? Seems to me that emoji:ing out one child would do the opposite, draw attention to him.

EDIT: It seems we are talking about temporary arrangements, then things become clearer. Still very weird photos.

ajbourg4y ago

I was referring generally to the general desire for "the system" to preserve the privacy of kids in care. I think you have to look at it holistically and not just social media. We also signed agreements that we would be very careful with the information we received about our placements, they don't deserve their story being blasted around (even to close friends and family) unless it is needed for the benefit of the child, and even then only to the degree necessary.

I've been in doctor's appointments where the nurse is quizzing me on my family medical history and I've had to stop them with, "We're not biologically related and I don't know the biological history". No need for them to know the whole story.

I feel privacy for kids is really important, for a number of different reasons. (preventing kids from being exploited for likes by foster parents, preservation and ownership for them to tell their story in their way when they are ready for it, privacy, sometimes protection from relatives that don't have their best interests at heart, and probably a dozen other reasons I have never thought of.) The best default is really to keep everything private in my opinion, but obviously not every agency or foster parent will agree to all the same specifics as me.

greedo4y ago

Not all foster kids come from the same ethnic backgrounds. So for example if you're Caucasian and post a picture of your family with a foster child who is Asian, or African-American etc, it can bring unwanted attention.

1 more reply

wlesieutre4y ago

Probably varies by location but here's what Connecticut DCF has to say about it:

> Please refrain from posting any photos or information on social media websites about the child/ren in your care. Their presence in your home should be treated as confidential information is not to be referred to on any social media websites.

https://portal.ct.gov/DCF/CTFosterAdopt/Manual/Chapter2#Scho...

andrewoneone4y ago

Why do you care? Nearly every comment you've left here in this post has negative language. You claim to have been an iOS developer for ten years - where's your podcast? Where are your apps on the app store that you're posting publicly about? Why aren't we talking about Grustaf in this post? Find empathy. Find humility. Find more in life than being a negative person on the internet.

GrustafOP4y ago

I asked because I didn't see why foster children specifically had to be hidden.

The reason you are not talking about me is that I'm not famous. Does that disqualify me from having an opinion? Do all opinions have to be positive? Do I have to (pretend to) believe that this app can make money? That seems pretty strange, this is not a kindergarten, grownups should be able to handle feedback even when it's not praise. If he needs empathy, he should go to his friends and family. I will just write what I believe, and that is that this is not a monetizable service, he is wasting his time.

He obviously has made a name for himself in podcasting, so he should double down on that. He is clearly not a product person, and I don't think he's a very good developer, he will do much better focusing on his strengths.

I'm curious, why do I need to have a podcast if I have been an iOS developer for 10 years, what's the connection?

andrewoneone4y ago

lol

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse

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ajbourg4y ago

GrustafOP4y ago

Some of these make sense (not that I agree with them), but don't seem peculiar to foster children. But what does this one mean?

> so that people don't know you're a foster kid unless you say so.

EDIT: It seems we are talking about temporary arrangements, then things become clearer. Still very weird photos.

ajbourg4y ago

greedo4y ago

1 more reply

wlesieutre4y ago

Probably varies by location but here's what Connecticut DCF has to say about it:

https://portal.ct.gov/DCF/CTFosterAdopt/Manual/Chapter2#Scho...

andrewoneone4y ago

GrustafOP4y ago

I asked because I didn't see why foster children specifically had to be hidden.

I'm curious, why do I need to have a podcast if I have been an iOS developer for 10 years, what's the connection?

andrewoneone4y ago

lol

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse