I see what you mean now and I've been there. FWIW, blocking out a little time for myself daily - e.g., early in the morning - has transformed me. Just a little time where I am the highest priority (obviously not true in extreme circumstances, but I mean have the discipline and seriousness to make it true 99% of the time) has made an enormous difference in my productivity and my ability to be close to loved ones. The loved ones are especially happy with the results.
Also, with the demands of time, I (mostly) cut out unhealthy coping and relaxation and replaced it with healthy things I love - e.g., someone might cut out drinking and replace it with bicycle riding, if they like it. I define 'unhealthy' by asking, 'will I feel better when I'm done with this activity than when I started?' It took awhile to find healthy activities I love, but that was just a matter of exploring options, which was healthy and enjoyable itself. There's just no time for the unhealthy stuff.
Finally, I felt I wasn't cognitively as flexible as I used to be, and I watched what flexible young people do (and studied other sources), and made sure that 'me time', and other activities when possible, includes exploration - following my nose or my passion, without a defined destination. That also has made an enormous difference.
Others' mileage will vary, but I hope that helps someone!