Ask HN: Low confidence in tech discussions, or impostor syndrome?

3 pointsyamoriyamori3y ago3 comments

Participation in technical discussion can be hard, and frankly I feel that I've lost my confidence over the last year. (Possibly a covid/remote effect, but not my main aim with this question.) Depending on the topic or scope, such discourse can cover a lot of a tech stack and/or functional ground. I feel as if I've lost a large degree of confidence in simply participating in discussion, and for myself approaching mid-career it's both troubling and humbling. I hope to ASK-HN a discussion or hear people's perspectives.

In the moment: during discussions of late I've become severely hesitant to chime in, either through uncertainty or general lack of confidence about how my three cents (inflation) will fit within the discourse. I have observed and generalized a few (of my own) causes:

- The need to be precise+accurate with any statement. (A dysfunctional workplace will not leave room for self-effacing behavior. But there's still a self check of "is what I'm about to say correct or additive ... enough?") - Missing half a sentence and suddenly I'm permanently behind the topic track. - Or it seems that everyone else is speaking with such confidence that everyone already commands an extra layer/depth of understanding on the subject matter, and I'm a fish out of water. - And I've noticed a follow-on effect after someone has added to the conversation, because that addition to the discourse may seem "obvious" to me, that I'll either enter a self-bullying spiral of "why couldn't you have said that because you already knew it" or "well this discussion is full of people stating the obvious, you are allowed to mentally check out now."

Did you know that Holden Caufield is actually a JS developer in the year 2022?! I would like to opine that this is appreciably different from impostor syndrome. (Though I do believe it's real and enjoy any related posts, recently [1].) And it's because there's always code to 'retreat' to, because it's the 'real' work and because code is altogether a product/craft/skill/ground-truth/machine and related discussion will always feel subordinate. Or it seems easier to effect the team with a confluence/wiki page (which can contain code snippets). In no way do I think this is correct or healthy, but it's so easy to slip into a mode of 'retreat to the code', and it can be speciously validated that it's "going back to where things matter."

Just as beer is the social lubricant, I'm looking for my 'professional beer'. Obviously not a cure-all pill, but how to ease some accumulated inhibitions, and participate in technical discussion without having to worry about the act of participating. I'm curious to hear anyone's experience or journey especially in the realm of technology and software jobs and roles.

[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31129716

3 comments

raxxorraxor3y ago

I believe a good measure that you have enough confidence is indeed when you have no problem with asking stupid or obvious questions. If someone judges you for that let them reiterate problem and alleged solution. They are able to do that perfectly then and onus is on them in that case.

It is too costly if people are afraid to speak up in meetings since problems get hidden and remain unsolved. Even with tight deadlines everyone has these two minutes.

usrn3y ago

Something that helped me was getting offended by my coworkers. They said out loud (sometimes knowing sometimes not) that people like me (race, religion, background, political ideology) should be removed from society. After this happened a few times I realized people can get away with saying way more garbage than you might think and I started just speaking my mind.

Being offended hurts but people undervalue it.

EDIT: I can't reply because I've used up my quota, here's what my reply would be: Everyone ends up talking about politics at work weather they like it or not. Many people have strongly held beliefs and are certain that they're beliefs are the right ones and everyone who disagrees with them is less than human. This comes out in discussions occasionally and people get offended. Eventually you figure out how little saying something wrong or offensive really matters and you're much more willing to participate in discussions with your coworkers (technical or not.)

Jensson3y ago

How does this help in technical discussions? Your example is from political discussions, do you mean that TS should get offended over others javascript preferences? Or to get offended when someone suggest a micro service architecture? Not sure how it applies.

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