So I decided to switch teams, to something that was friendlier for remote, more cloud-based backend stuff. A team that was doing daily standups. And it was sort of better. But acculturating into a new team while remote was painful. And the work unstimulating. And the depression and tedium from being stuck at home and dealing with kids in educational and emotional crisis too much.
So I just quit. Walked away from a 10 year high paying "high status" job. And I'm not the only one, friends of mine did the same thing. I suspect much of the "great resignation" was driven by the frankly irresponsible way that employers just didn't manage remote well.
I wasn't happy with $work before remote, but remote + a job with some bad aspects was like pouring naptha on a fire.
Getting a new (remote) job now after a few months off. I think it will be better.