Well, that's true in so far as the useless DE-specific sound servers, but ALSA's userspace/plugin one (dmix) was definitely not abandoned and not stagnating. It was actually growing, and the advice then was to target ALSA API directly, not a specific sound server. The same advice is still valid today.
At least from my point of view, the problem with Linux sound has been one of APIs. OSS API is simple but limiting. ALSA API is a complex mess that no one bothers to implement fully and/or correctly. The various sound server APIs are sound server specific and range from the simple but limiting again (e.g. esd), complicated and still limiting (e.g. arts, PA) or just too complicated (e.g. jack). Using gstreamer as just a sound output API is not taken seriously.
The only reasonable option is to use a libao-like wrapper.
> I also still find this to be really ridiculous when people call maintainers "toxic" for being slow or for rejecting patches. Every open source project does that.
That's not the full story. Anyway, "being slow for accepting patches" is another word for "unmaintained" which you literally complained above and argued it is a point for justifying a replacement.
> Actually it has
No, it hasn't. What I was referring to is the glitch-free feature from Pulseaudio which is what actually broke most people's audio. This entire approach with longer buffers, few/no hardware interrupts and copious usage of ALSA's rewind feature (a deadly combination which broke most ALSA drivers). Compare with Pipewire which goes back to a more "traditional" small buffers and low latency approach.
Pipewire implementing the PA protocol is just more proof of the disaster that are the Linux audio APIs. Even Lennart said most people should not target the PA API.