The best solution for the argument that “ads help people find stuff when they do go looking”, is an ad-directory.

Want to buy some new clothes and shoes soon? Go to an ad directory and browse the offerings - it’s beneficial for everyone. Users, because they’re getting what they want (when and how they want it) and for providers too: their audience are self-selecting their target, they have high intent to buy. This would make actual advertising cheaper, brands would get more creative freedom (have to stick out more, have to help your target market quickly identify you and you don’t need to spend oodles of time and money setting up complicated arms-race-sequence AI targeting run by a duopoly of “totally trustworthy companies”). Users are happy because they’re freed from the cognitive burden of constant harassment.