In my personal experience the greatest challenge is always oneself and not external factors. So your advice to drop all self-help is wrong in my opinion. There are people who made it against all odds and their mindset may crave the necesseary pathways in your brain as well.
I would even say that the more the odds are stacked against you the more you should try because there are few things as impressive.
Is the problem here the external factor of my son's desires? Or is it a problem with myself, putting his desires above my own?
Sometimes the right thing to do is to sacrifice your dreams for others.
Good on you for putting your family first, and total respect for parents and parenthood, but man, reading lines like that reinforce my decision to stay free of those sorts of obligations.
I don't ever want to leave camp "do what you feel like doing".
It’s easy to fall into the trap of assuming reading advice is inherently beneficial but it needs to result in some net positive behaviors or it’s just wasting time, money, and mental effort.
Lumping all self-help resources into not being useful or even harmful doesn't help. There will always be some quacks, but there will always be some people with genuine insights and the ability to help others understand themselves better and move towards their goals.
I've never paid for Tony Robbins material but would say its been helpful.
In the OP's case they could use the material to understand what is behind wanting the change. Understanding their why.
Is it a feeling of significance / love / variety / contribution that they're lacking? How could they go about getting what's missing? What are their options?
These are the types of things that I get from Tony Robbins - almost like a problem solving framework for personal problems.
All that being said, do people use self help as a form of procrastination? Yes I'd say many do. However I believe the people with all the resources that refuse to take action are no worse off than they would have been anyway.
As they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
Which is kind of my point. Some material may be better than placebo, but when we are talking about self help as an industry you need to consider the impact of everything from Scientology to actually lethal practices like Breatharianism. The trends within the industry seem to focus on what’s useful as a business rather than what’s helpful to it’s customers. So yes some people are helped, but some people are also financially ruined or even killed.
It’s not that everyone is trying to scam others, just that the same kind of forces that cause clickbait still apply and impact what’s popular.
It is certainly a business but I assume that most of these self-help gurus truly want to help. They are promoting different methods(more or less rational) but the core message is often very similar and amounts to "take action". If all roads lead to Rome you may very well get there.
I think by listening to these books you are in fact priming your brain to find a way to improve your situation.
I don't believe it takes effort. On the contrary, reading self-help is basically a guilty pleasure. Otherwise it wouldn't sell in such massive quantities.
