>> A SAH spouse is not an equal partner with a 50% contribution. More of an oldest child with extra responsibilities and a higher allowance.

> This is a really depressing way of looking at things.

No, it's not depressing, it's total BS. Anyone who's ever been in a remotely serious relationship knows keeping score like "percent contribution" leads to the end of that relationship.

But very very common and very very strong reason to not be SAH. Because a lot of partners will have exactly that attitude, no matter how nice they were previously. And it will rub on your self-esteem.

Spend any amount of time among ( let's be honest ) men and you see this attitude over and over again. They "let" their spouse stay at home. The SAH spouse spends all "their" money. The working spouse "supports" the family. There's a constant stream of posts on reddit about how how a working spouse should be able to come home and play video games for hours - they work so hard and deserve a break. Does the SAH spouse work hard deserve a break? What a ridiculous idea. See how often someone complains that they come home and the house is a mess and the laundry isn't done and dinner isn't ready. This isn't the attitude of an equal partner, this is the attitude of a boss. Does the SAH spouse get to review the working spouse's productivity each day? Give them access to the JIRA board and let them start asking why it's taking a week to support a minor version change.