But MySQL's equivalent, insert...on duplicate, does not cause extra auto increments. IMHO postgres' is a much larger problem.

That said, I say that in my experience based upon locking selects in MySQL - when the row doesn't exist is a big problem, oftentimes leading to deadlocks. So insert... on duplicate key is a life saver. I don't have as much experience using postgres, so I'm not sure how much of a problem that is there, so it's possible the "on conflict" isn't as useful.

Same with sequences in Oracle. They don't participate in transactions. Looking at the gaps between "consecutive" IDs shows surprisingly interesting behavior.