Just turned 47 this morning. I do have the kids, house, and accomplished most of the things I wanted to when I was a kid... but there's always more, there's always the things I haven't done, the things I have failed at, and the list goes on. I too feel the bitterness, anger, and disillusionment of the current state of the economy, my career, etc. I wonder how much of this is a product of those of us working in tech related/adjacent fields and the industries promises of the past few decades really not panning out. I feel like we're in an age of disillusionment for those of us who bought into those promises only to ... <<gestures broadly at the Internet>>.. see what has come of it.

I am never going to be rich, it is never going to be "easy", and while it could be worse it could be a lot fucking better too. And it is going to get harder before anything else changes.

What can you do about it? Fuck if I know. I can't deal with my own shit. But the one thing that has helped is trying to re-evaluate my current situation. Sometimes I feel locked into focusing on the things I can't have, the things I didn't accomplish, the mistakes I've made, and just have to accept that I cannot change them. I can only look at where I am now, take inventory, and try to re-orient myself. I've heard that works for others and it has helped me in the past, but it isn't a one-and-done exercise. Maybe I'm wrong but it has gotten me this far.

"You Are Not Alone" by Andrew WK (yeah, the Party guy) has been a fantastic cathartic resource for this middle aged dude in the 202Xs. I recommend a full listen -- end-to-end -- through on decent headphones and a place where you can safely process emotions. https://red.lnk.to/AWKYNA

Take care man, I hope you find a way to accept where you are, that you find peace, and make a plan for where you want to go next.