This "constantly being at risk of losing your life savings due to phishing, scamming, hacking, etc." is a lie. There is no inherent property of Bitcoin that makes you vulnerable to these. Any vulnerability in those regards is an individual issue, just like with the current system. You could mitigate those away with paid services under a Bitcoin standard (which is great because you could actually pick the vendor you thought could do the job best).
> Welcome to the future of finance, make sure you don't lose your seed phrases written down on paper (it's the future, trust me bro)
Perhaps you prefer steel? https://www.amazon.com/Safe-Seed-Stainless-Recovery-Passphra...
> Contradicts saying that I was lying that you can lose your life savings due to phishing, scamming, or hacking, and that if you lose your seed phrases and can't access the wallet then your digital doubloons are gone forever
Fair enough. This is where an exchange comes in. You still have the option to trust a third-party to hold your Bitcoin if you wish. But of course, that comes with its own risks, just like trusting a bank (which can only ever guarantee up to $250K worth of your money under FDIC).
