> To me, -v means either "version" or "verbose", and it's a stretch to say either of those words is suitable for this use case.

Well it is, kind of. From bash-builtins(7):

> If either the -V or -v option is supplied, a description of command is printed. The -v option causes a single word indicating the command or filename used to invoke command to be displayed; the -V option produces a more verbose description.