For a lot, if not most, programmers, there are other ways of making a living. If you are of the mindset that there aren't, I may have some roles for you, but they would not be growth roles and some may feel exploitative, but they are not because there are no shortage of engineers who are happy with such roles.

You picked SW development over other viable options for a reason.

> and my background is "I do computer things so I'm not homeless and starving".

The ask is what, not why. My background is that I am an engineering guy (non-CS), who pivoted at some point to SW. Your background may be different. If you've got 10 years at various companies, you do have a background other than "I do computer things".

But to get to your sentiment: Yes, we all know we're all trying to make a living. The cover letter is an opportunity to speak to why this job and not any other job. If you don't have a reason, that's fine. Over 90% of the times I do not either. But that means I and you are as guilty of contributing to the "problem" of this submission as employers are. More importantly, if I know the employer is going to be fussy about this, I will save us both time by not applying.

As an employer, if I get enough who do have a convincing reason, they get to the top of the pile. If I don't get enough cover letters to find a candidate, I'll loosen my requirements.

It is a bit like a dating profile, but so is the resume, so you can't avoid it. And speaking of dating, what would you think of a partner who says "I just want someone to have sex with, who'll pay for my expenses and let me not work (so should earn good money), and will take care of the children while also taking me to expensive restaurants. I really don't care about his personality."

> but then what signal do you get from it? That I care enough to dissemble effectively to you? That you think I'm as interested in your company as you're going to tell me all about how you'll treat me like family?

I think you're reading way too much into this. If you wrote a nice little script to solve an annoying problem at work that everyone was neglecting, it could be quite appropriate to put that in the cover letter. In 2011/2012 I independently learned pandas and spread organically to my team members such that the majority stopped writing annoying JMP scripts, that could go in the cover letter if I'm applying to a company that does numerical work. There just isn't room in the resume to highlight these kinds of things.

Of course, if you have nothing like that to show for yourself after N years in the industry, that's OK, but it makes you the same as every other applicant who doesn't.