You can see here the most downloaded models from the Hugging Face transformers hub:
https://huggingface.co/spaces/huggingface/transformers-statsIf I'm not mistaken these will be some of the best sota language models to try:
- Flan-T5
- OPT
- Distilbert
- GPT-J
Look into PEFT to fit finetuning on a consumer-grade device. You'll have to roll your own RLHF though.. :)