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0 pointsfalcolas2y ago0 comments

Of course poor communication skills will cause problems. It's well worth asking for clarifications in such situations; I have few problems playing the dumb oaf and admitting my lack of understanding if it gets someone to ELI5 their point. And generally, someone who brags about using the Socratic method out loud will gladly display their brilliance you've blundered past.

In the end, I'm not advocating for confusing the person you're communicating with, I'm advocating for not butting your head against their beliefs; against their ego. Perhaps this advice is better suited to online debates, but I've also seen it too often in real life to waste my time trying to change someone's beliefs.

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lazide2y ago

The issue is that it is often very important in engineering to get to the point and state what you believe as directly as possible, so that others (and yourself) can compare it to the facts quickly and easily. And listen, and figure out where they might be wrong afterwards.

And we can and should expect everyone in Engineering to do the same for what they believe too. Because otherwise we all waste time we can’t afford to waste, and end up with more broken situations.

What you’re describing is fine for politics and social meet and greets. It wastes time, causes confusion, and results in expensive (and sometimes fatal) mistakes when the facts matter.

falcolasOP2y ago

Engineers too are human. They have egos and beliefs and care more about the things they build than they should. Their feelings get hurt when people are rude, short, or belittling - or when they perceive that someone's being rude, short, or belittling.

The perfectly rational engineer (read: human being) doesn't exist outside of a select few neurodivergant folks. Acting as if every engineer is perfectly rational is now, and always has been, a mistake.

Just ask Linus' more verbose colleagues; have a look at how he has changed over the many years he's lead the kernel development.

lazide2y ago

It is entirely possible to be direct without being an asshole.

Being indirect, Socratic questioning, etc. has its place too. But it can easily just result in someone being a passive aggressive asshole instead of a direct one, or, as others noted in the thread, being confusing and a drag on everyone because they won’t actually say what they think.

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brabel2y ago

I think the point of the parent comment wasn't about communication per se, but that you can't always be right (even when we like to think we are) and your method of trying to lead others to adopt your wrong conclusions can be hell to deal with.

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0 pointsfalcolas2y ago0 comments

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lazide2y ago

What you’re describing is fine for politics and social meet and greets. It wastes time, causes confusion, and results in expensive (and sometimes fatal) mistakes when the facts matter.

falcolasOP2y ago

Just ask Linus' more verbose colleagues; have a look at how he has changed over the many years he's lead the kernel development.

lazide2y ago

It is entirely possible to be direct without being an asshole.

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brabel2y ago

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