That said, would you gladly accept a SICK gift horse?
That you would then have to take care off as it dies and or spreads its decease to humans? If not, then better LOOK at the gift horse's mouth (which is an old heuristic to judge it's general health).
The event was done through Team-in-Training. Team-in-Training is an organization that raises funds for cancer research. To raise funds, they help individuals train for an endurance event like a marathon/triathlon. Over 80% have never done an endurance event before. The training is fairly intense and lasts three to four months.
The hard part about Team-in-Training is not the training, however. It is the fundraising. You actually sign a document - if you do not officially withdraw by a certain time, usually several weeks after training starts - that your credit card will be charged for the balance of your minimum fundraising obligation (whatever you do not raise).
For my event, there was a minimum fundraising obligation of almost $4,000. This was an order of magnitude and then some more than I've ever raised for any charity prior.
My argument about the $10 check was that I thought I had a good relationship with my parent's neighbor and that he would recognize the importance of what I was trying to do (personal growth and all that) and help support me (it is all 100% tax deductible) with a $25 or $50 donation.
As it turns out, going back to the idea of giving money as "free speech", the people who gave the most usually had a direct connection to leukemia or lymphoma in their family. And they wanted to support me in memory of their loved ones. It wasn't about me, it was more about them (and usually I didn't know that there was a connection until afterwards). As for my parent's neighbor with the $10 check, he didn't care for the cause (even though he is in that field) or, more importantly, for me and what I was trying to overcome/conquer/do/accomplish. It hurt but I eventually got over it. I know that getting asked for money is hard - but asking people for money is harder (you're putting yourself out there).
The triathlon was a life-changing experience. I ended up raising almost $6,000. I highly recommend TNT to anyone I encounter who ever says "I wish I could run a marathon" or "I can't swim so I can't do a triathlon" or "I'm in a rut" (marathons are their most popular event, by far).
Just like in any MLM scheme your ability to 'work' the people close to you is what allowed you to sign up for the program in the first place. It is almost as though you felt that your neighbor was obliged to give you a certain amount based on your perception of your relationship, his station in life and his ability to give in combination with helping you, but in fact you misdirected him by asking him to give (indirectly) to a charity.
Chances are that if you had asked him for a contribution to you instead of to a charity that you would have ended up with more than the $10, and how you would have spent that money would have been up to you.
I don't think you can draw the conclusion that he didn't care for you, you simply don't get to call how other people spend their money, and you aren't entitled to a say in that.
The best thing you can say to someone when they give you free money is 'thank you'. To go on a public forum and berate them for giving too little is really not the nicest response.
Suggestion: talk it over with your parent's neighbor and see what his side of the story is, rather than complaining about him to strangers. It is possible that you will come away with another 'life changing experience', one that teaches you about yourself and your relationships with other people.
And that money is weird, on an emotional level. Which it is.
(Not that anything you said here is wrong.)
Or he just donated to something else. Or he had no idea what "normal" is. Or he had his mortgage payment coming up, or the medical treatments for his wife's condition. Or he thinks that giving shouldn't be artificially tied to high quotas and sporting events.
Or, it could be that he's picked up on your judgmental and self centered attitude and didn't feel good about giving the money to you. To ask people for money for a specific cause, and use that to judge them about their feelings toward you, and their overall generosity is obnoxious on several levels.
Did you ever stop to think that he only cut you the check because you were guilt-tripping him and he was thinking, "I thought I had a good relationship with this guy, but here he is shaking me down for money"?
Stop and take a look at things from the other side before you accuse the person of being a bad friend. It's rarely so simple that it only has 1 side.
Which is to say that the majority of the first $4,000, so 2/3 of your $6,000 went towards paying for your training, not for the charitable cause.
This is why I won't contribute to sponsored parachute jumps, walks in the Andes, cycles across the country or other similar pursuits. If you want a vacation pay for it yourself, then we can talk. $10 was $10 too much.
In my own situation, which did involve TNT, I found myself rather skeptical, if not cynical, about the Big Cancer Research Establishment. I think it exists primarily as a self-preserving bureaucracy and does precious little actual research. (I could be wrong; I haven't really looked into it.) Under the circumstances, I nonetheless gave an amount which I thought was generous (and which was larger than $10). It was still received as inadequate. This did not dispose me to be generous with similar requests in the future.
I don't care enough to look up citations to back that up though, if anyone is interested I'd suggest going on Google and looking into it for yourself.
Also, based on what you say there about how it works, that "charity" is obviously a scam.
