There's no gap in understanding, the only way a 400W laptop can be cool to the touch is if it rapidly dissipates all that thermal energy. That would require one hell of a fan, which is what I said with my hairdrier remark. Even 90W already requires a very noisy fan. A fan moving enough air to keep a 400W laptop cool to the touch isn't realistic to put into the form factor of a laptop, and a fan sufficient to keep even a 180W laptop cool seems extremely dubious to me. It would sound like a vacuum cleaner.

What I was missing is the part where the laptop doesn't consume 180W and a substantial fraction of that power is just passing through the laptop to peripherals.

Case in point, I’ve driven my desktop computer up to 600 watts and mostly it just puts out a warm stream of air silently.

Additionally, loudness is not necessarily correlated with actually moving air. It can often correlate with obstruction to moving air.