> You can train a small llm on your private data to map the user question to tables in your db.
Can you? You've personally done this? Deployed it to production at some kind of non trivial scale and it's working well? I'm not aware of any "small llm" that approaches the quality of gpt-3.5.
This is called Text2SQL or NL2SQL, it’s a surprisingly difficult problem even with RAG and GPT4 as soon as the query is non trivial, especially if there are semantic differences between the question and the db schema.