Owning it is a great way to go, but has its own problems.
As you say, if you've been prone to externalising everything then
suddenly it's a wonderful release. It's empowering to realise you have
more agency and influence than maybe you thought.
Jocko Willink's outlook of "extreme ownership" is something that
resonates with me.
But beware omnipotence, or worse solipsism. The opposite extreme, of
believing that you're the only one who is truly responsible, is a
dangerous pathology too.
Somewhere in the middle ground is the idea that it's all about
interpersonal interactions; certain people, who make certain kinds of
choices and hold certain world-views, are to be engaged with or
avoided. It's not that they or you have faults, it's just you
shouldn't hang out because your relational compatibility is wrong.
