I kind of enjoyed their passive aggressive bitchy tone, it reminded me of sosumi[0]
iPhones have become great with the EU forcing the USB on them, the new capabilities are making me consider a new iPhone despite my iPhone 14 Pro is still excellent. I really want to be able to film directly on external SSD for example.
I think with the DMA, EU is making Apple a favour again by saving them from themselves. Although sales are still great, other brands are doing amazing things and Apple lacks in some areas. I think its very possible that if the developers find ways to do interesting things with iPhones outside the Apple's walled garden, we can see another golden age for iPhone because many things that Apple doesn't allow are simply due to brand protections. Apple can sell more iPhones and people can do questionable things(porn, crypto etc) on their phones without blaming it on Apple. The iPhone has become great but boring, even one can argue that its forcing SV culture over people all over the world. When you don't have to ask Apple employees what you can do on your phone, actual original things can come up. Apple might lose a bit control and revenue but might become the impartial platform of an exciting future.
Still there are some unclear stuff though.
[0] : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sosumi