Ditto, 100% same story. I kinda knew I had ADHD and was able to investigate some childhood stuff that suddenly made more sense, but I waited until I had a crisis that was compromising my ability to function at work before finally talking to a shrink. Wish I'd done so a lot sooner.

I can start/stop, take drug holidays, etc. with amphetamine (adderall in my case) at will with no ill effects. Caffeine on the other hard, is brutally unpleasant to miss a day of. Been on the same dose of adderall for a few years now. I was able to reduce my caffeine intake significantly after starting adderall.

We're not unaware though. We know we are capable of doing these things because we can do them exceptionally well in short bursts of hyper-focus. We see the potential and we desire the outcomes. We lack the executive function to put those things into action consistently.

I was not completely unaware of failing most classes in high school and having to get a GED despite wanting to do my homework and study for tests. I was very motivated and interested in the subjects, I could just not focus enough to complete my work. This caused me to have an adverse reaction to even starting a project/task which I still struggle with today (even though it's much easier now).

So while I can of course not predict what would have happened, I can pretty safely say my life path would have been completely different had I had a chance to get treated earlier. I would have gone to college, at least.

I'm not sure what your point is.

Yes, it does help with working memory. I'm not sure if it adds a slot, or makes it harder for other items to sneak into the limited slots, but it helps.

It gives me some control over my focus, leverage against the executive dysfunction, and the choice to not chase dopamine.

For me it definitely does, it seems like my brain is able to fit more into its "main memory" while focused on a task, whereas without it it seems like I'm "swapping to disk" to put it into computer terms.

I don't take it on the weekends, and I feel a huge difference in my ability to remember what I'm working on around the house.

Sounds like you must already have a psychiatrist or MD you've been diagnosed by? What's the reason for not medicating it?

Do you have a guidance counselor your can talk to?