> Society seems to reward people who get about as much done as they say they can, consistently, on something useful, while not being too unpleasant to be around.

You said yourself, consistently. There's nothing consistent about living with ADHD, you simply can't be consistent, it's one of the major issues with it.

I believe you are speaking out of ignorance, and that's fine, if you also allow yourself to know you are ignorant and try to understand how it is for others, to grow out of your own ignorance.

If you have not lived with ADHD or had a partner with it to understand the many, multifaceted ways it affects someone's life I don't think you can even grasp what it is, it's ok to be ignorant if you are kind enough to acknowledge and try to understand what you do not know about.

So far I've only seen your rebuttals coming from the same place as people telling us we should just do better, that is a simple matter of willpower. Or worse, that society does accommodate for it (it doesn't).

Society rewards consistency, rewards people with good organisational skills who can persist on a task until its completion, no matter how boring or difficult it is. A neurodivergent person has to develop and practice that, every single day, knowing that in many days you'll fail to do it and all that's left is to try again the next day, and the next, and the next, and the next...