> Do you honestly believe paying a huge salary will attract kind empathetic people?
You missed the point (and the joke).
No, but for $1000 even an asshole will act empathetic. I mean, go to a high end hotel or restaurant. You genuinely think that all those emphatically polite and helpful wait staff are doing it because they're nice people? No, they're doing it because (1) good service is required by their job and (2) their job pays better than similar jobs at proletarian places. So they do it. Same principle here.