> We can naively split the world into two types of people: givers and takers.

It’s a sliding scale and not set in stone. I used to be too much on the giver side until burnout forced me to learn how to apportion my time better.

At the end of the day, most employers pay you to spend x hours per day solving their problems and thus creating value. If you stretch and give them more than you are obligated to then is it really their fault or your fault? You should use neutral phrases like “I don’t currently have bandwidth for this” or “I can’t make any promises because X is a higher priority”. Your manager most likely has no clue of how overloaded you are and will appreciate being informed before it becomes a medical issue.

Of course, some employers are toxic and will not take no for an answer. These are the exception to the rule and the only resolution really is finding a new job.

A better word for takers might be users.