Ask HN: Am I being too picky?

I've worked on teams where I felt outpaced, and also worked on teams where I wished everyone else would give things more energy. It's hard to find good matches and also find a good group pace that is sustainable for delivering value over the long term. It's also normal to ebb and flow.

With that said, it seems like the key to your current situation is to increase your estimates to match your reality. Don't worry about what other devs think. Many product folks (or whomever is applying pressure) appreciate consistency and reliability just as much, if not more than, high velocity.

It’s fine not to like that position, and it’s good you’re aware of and are acknowledging it head on. I would say first talk to your team to see if you can get them to ease up and make your current situation better (assuming you want to stay).

If that doesn’t go well, or is not possible, then it’s probably time to start looking elsewhere. And when you interview ask about WLB and gauge how much is expected of you.

Plenty of places where you can coast once you’re settled in.

Would padding your estimates provide some temporary relief while you find something new? You don’t have to do a +1 and 1 (ie - if you think it will take one week say it will take two months). But if you think it will take one week, what if you say it will take two weeks?

But there is absolutely no reason that any company needs engineers to be high performing all the time. Healthy companies are marathons not sprints. Read into that as you will.

I am not sure "caring" should be part of your attitude. we do the job we're paid to do at the best of our ability. That's it.

If you can't be "arsed" to give your best that's a different issue and it sometimes is a simple case of burnout. This happens when you give a job too much over a long period of time.

As for your current role, I see issue immediately. Estimates are nothing more than estimates but in your case they seem to be deadlines. It should be a simple case of having a human discussion ... it takes longer because of an issue I have, not seen in the estimation stage. You can't basically foresee everything and that's normal and expected. Software development is not a factory setting but a highly complex, creative and mentally draining activity.

If you are in a software factory then you need to get out, those people don't value you.

Do you think your time is worth giving your 100% dedication to this “high performing” team? It appears that they care much less about you and more about code golfing olympics.

Remember, you cannot get those decades back or the time that you're spending and if you are unhappy then it is time to do something about it before it goes wrong.

I always pad my estimates by quite a bit. I'd rather get done early than have people asking why something is late. Generally speaking, the things I think are going to be hard end up being easy, and the things I think will be easy end up being hard (usually for really stupid reasons). So it's all a crap shoot.

How large is this company? If it's a small- seed/series A startup, I think it's expected you give 100% if not 130%. If you want something more laid back, perhaps you should focus on larger companies with 1000s of employees.

With that said, I do believe you should "care" about your work. Even if one task isn't the most exciting you should still care about the quality of code you contribute. After all, you will be judged by that, more than your time management skills.

You are simply used to a different (and in my opinion much healthier) way of working. Have you been in your new role for a long time? You may either get used to it, or find the right fit in the company. Or you might not and need to look for a better job. There is absolutely no shame in considering how you work when choosing a job.

Maybe you need to use a less optimistic task estimation formula?

Do you feel happy working there ?

If not, it's fine that they keep working like that without you and it's also fine that you don't want to work with them like that.

> someone who cares but not all the time

This sounds like a problem for your current team

Are you being extra compensated for being on the extra demanding team? In many contexts the type of constant demand for high performance is also called a death march or at least a crunch.

It is poor management in my opinion and when a team constantly gives 110% every sprint then there is nothing left to give when you encounter a true crisis.

Remember, it almost assuredly the case that your employer does not give a rat's ass about you and will fire you with crocodile tears in their eyes proudly telling the world that they regret having to make the hard choices leading to their retention bonus and your dismissal.

As an example, Musk just fired the entire charging team to prove a point to other team leads.